13
by poxelda
Summary: After missing for two days, a beaten and drugged MacGyver is unable to remember what happened and what he had been forced to do. He only knows that some impending danger was coming soon and the number 13 had something to do with it.
1. Chapter 1

Cold. Pain-hurts everywhere, breathing...agony. MacGyver opens his eyes. His face is pressed on gravel, he can feel cuts and scrapes, and worse...He blinked. It's dark, night. He slowly pushes himself to sit. He looked down. He's wearing a dirty white T-shirt, has blood on it and is torn in several places, his skin under the tears is ripped, red, swollen. Mac blinks. Everything is blurry, hurts to think. Mac feels his hair is dirty, matted, major pain across his scalp. He touches the spot and almost doubles over with pain. His hand comes away covered with blood. He squints down. Red, raw gnawed flesh circles each wrist. Restraints he had fought against.

He looks down. He's wearing some sort of light blue pajama bottoms, also covered in splotches of blood. These do not all match his torn flesh under. So, he has someone else's blood on him. He is barefoot, raw circles around his ankles. His feet are raw. Mac looks around him. It takes a minute for the blurriness to fade. He's on a dark road, single lane tarred with woods on either side. He feels himself start to shiver. Low hanging fog sways across the woods and road, seems to be swirling around him.

It takes a few painful tries, but finally, Mac manages to stay standing. Dizziness, nausea. He lifts the T-shirt, his chest has many different layers of bruises. The oldest look about two days old. Mac dropped his shirt and tried to suck in a breath. It feels like he is breathing through broken glass. He looks up, he can't see the night sky because he is standing under a dim street lamp. He blinks seeing an intermittent light along the length of the road.

Mac tries to think. The last thing he remembers was driving home from Phoenix. 13. Mac frowns. The number blares through his head lit up like a flashing neon light. It was important, a matter of life and death, and he had to...Mac frowned. He had no idea, but there was something about the number. Something he had to do...Mac closes his eyes against a stabbing steel band that seems to stab deep into his scalp. Something he has to undo. He'd been forced to...Mac moves his jaw. It too was swollen, bruised but he doesn't think broken. Whatever happened, it hadn't been fun, or healthy. He sums up mentally.

Mac decides one way is just as good as another and starts walking. His feet scream in protest. He walks on the rough tar. Even though he can't see any, he is almost sure he was leaving a trail of bloody footprints. He crosses his arms across his chest feeling the cold, damp night wrap around him like a hand of ice. Before long, he is shivering teeth chattering. The fog hypnotizes him, or maybe he was drugged. Mac winces feeling his head again. He doesn't think the bumps were serious enough to cause amnesia. Contrary to what TV show, it actually took quite a wallop to cause amnesia. His mouth is dry, it tastes like cotton...and blood. He can feel several open areas around his teeth. Probably punched, he guesses. So someone had worked him over for at least two days. He looks at his arms and frowns. As he suspected several needle marks are apparent in both inner elbows. He hugs himself, shivering from more than cold. What had happened to him? Who had done...all this? Had he escaped? What did they make him do? What did 13 mean?

Mac feels himself drift into a mental fog. He keeps walking but does not know for how long. He comes back to himself as he hits the tar road. Mac closes his eyes, gasping in a breath. He wants to lie down, to close his eyes, to sleep...He feels his eyes closing when the sense of impending danger slams into him. He grits his teeth and sways up to his feet again. He has to stop something from happening...undo something he'd done. Something...13.

Mac blinks realizing that the road ahead of him has no trees off to the left, and there is a building. Mac feels a tiny trickle of hope. He zombie-walks toward it. It is a deserted gas station. Graffiti and broken windows give the dark, building a menacing feeling. The canopy above has panels broken out and the pumps have been removed leaving behind only a metal skeleton. Mac blinks at it. The street lamp above the garage is missing a bulb, but the one across the street gives the place in a dim glow. The dark shadows seem to move like ghosts silently writhing in the fog. 

Mac closes his eyes and manages a dry swallow. He forces his legs forward. Perhaps he can find something useful, like where he is for starters. The inside of the building is full of dusty boxes and mice. Mac frowns. The bathrooms are empty, holes in the floor and one rusty wall of a stall leaning off the wall in the woman's room. Mac avoids looking at himself in the broken mirror. He has to focus and it is getting harder to do every second.

As he shuffles back to the front of the building he stops and smiles. A pay phone hangs from wires inside a broken booth across the dark parking lot. Mac winces as he steps through the low metal opening left by broken glass. He feels the side of his T-shirt tear as he rubs against a spear of glass. Mac hisses, feeling the sting then warmth of blood. He straightens and blinks his eyes trying to focus on the wires. He glances up. The street lights are lit along the road in front of him, the phone should still have power. If he...Mac frowns realizing he didn't have his Swiss army knife. He has no idea where it was. Mac sighs feeling a sense of regret.

It is true that he has an entire drawer of them, keeping his stock well cared for and up to date, but anytime he lost one, he felt like he'd had to put down a puppy. And the latest one he carried, he'd had since Hawaii, it had a flashlight which would be very helpful. Mac manages a small sigh. He lifts one of the pieces of glass wincing as it cuts into his hand. He files it away with the rest of his multitude of pains and focuses on the wires. It takes him longer than normal, and he is covered in sweat from having to hold the phone up while he connects broken wires. He lifts his leg leaning the phone against it and lifts the receiver. Mac almost cries when he hears the dial tone buzz.

With his hand shaking, he dials a number he knows better than his own. Everything was spinning after an eternity Jack answers.

"Yeah?" Mac breathes out and almost drops the phone.

"J..k…" He wheezes. He clears his throat and repeats it again. His voice is hoarse, sore. From screaming? "Jack." He finally manages.

"MAC! Thank God! Where are you?" Mac sucks in air, swaying.

"Dunno...hurt…" He manages.

"Ok, ok, bud. Riley's tracking you now. I've been going crazy looking for you…" Mac tries to focus, but everything is getting fuzzy. "...Mac? Mac? You still there, buddy?"

"Uhmm." Mac murmurs. He leans his forehead against the metal frame of the booth. "Jack, hurry...can't…" He feels the phone fall out of his hands and the stabbing pain of glass in his knees, then nothing.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

"Mac? MAC!" Jack almost screamed into the phone. He whirled to Riley. "Please tell me you got that?" Riley nodded as she typed into the computer. She smiled.

"Got it! He's in Oregon." Jack glanced at Matty.

"Go, take a Blackhawk." She said as she hurried to Riley's side. By the time she looked up again, Jack was gone. Bozer was almost knocked over by the man ran from the room. Holding the coffees he'd fetched, Bozer looked over at Riley hope in his eyes. Riley smiled, relief in her eyes.

"We found him, Boze. We found him."

Jack growled, he knew the pilot was pushing the Blackhawk to its limits, but it still wasn't fast enough. He looked down at the growing tree cover below them.

"Five minutes out." The pilot radioed him. Jack nodded and focused on an intermittent line of street lights. Through the trees, they looked like they were twinkling as the Blackhawk zipped past. The helicopter hovered, the pilot frowning. He glanced over at Jack about to say something when he saw the dangerous glint in the man's eyes. The pilot nodded. It was not going to be an easy landing, he barely had enough room, but he would make it happen. The helicopter kicked up a thick cloud of dirt as it thumped in the middle of the parking lot of the abandoned gas station. Jack was hunched over and bailing out before the engine cycled off.

Jack blinked grit out of his eye and coughed searching. He saw the dark silhouette he would recognize anywhere and ran almost as fast as his heart thudded. He pulled out a flashlight and knelt in the bed of broken glass looking over his partner. Jack's jaw clenched. He didn't like what he saw, at all. The kid was pale and bloody. His slack face was more black and blue than flesh toned, his hair was matted with blood. Jack winced at Mac's raw feet, glass shards poking out.

"Mac?" He whispered softly. He reached out to take a pulse. Before he touched Mac, the kid jerked awake and skittered back curling into a defensive ball, his arms raised over him. "Hey, hey, easy kid. It's me." Jack said setting the flashlight on the ground beside him. Mac peeped through his arms at Jack. Jack could see confusion and outright terror. His heart broke and anger thrummed through him.

"J..K?" Mac's weak voice was dry and hoarse as if sandpaper had been sawed through his vocal cords. Jack forced his alarm off his face. He slowly crept closer. Mac lowered his arms. Jack could see his shivering and the wide circles of black that filled his eyes. Drugged.

"Yeah, buddy. Let's get you out of here." Mac nodded but didn't move staring at Jack as if he wasn't sure he was real. Jack smiled and reached out putting his hand on Mac's arm. Jack winced taking in how cold the skin was, how thin the arm was, the shaking and worst of all, the restraint marks on his wrist. Mac stared down at the hand a long second, before lunging and awkwardly wrapping his arms in a death grip around Jack's shoulders. Jack returned the embrace just as fiercely. Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The last two days of his life had easily been the worst of his life.

He felt Mac's arms slip as he slumped against Jack. Jack looked down and saw Mac fighting to keep his eyes open. Jack frowned. He winced as he worked Mac out of the broken booth. He knew he'd given his partner a few more cuts, but he also knew there wasn't anything he could do about it. Once free of the glass, Jack grunted and lifted Mac. Jack frowned. It was obvious Mac hadn't been fed over the past two days. Jack slid into the back of the helicopter and laid Mac out on the seat.

The movement roused Mac, he reached out and clung to Jack's arm, his nails digging in. His breathing came faster, his eyes wide.

"Easy, easy. I'm not going anywhere." Jack glanced at the pilot who handed him a first aid kit. Jack closed the door to the aircraft and scooted next to Mac. He opened the kit and frowned, hardly knowing where to start. Jack shook his head, cumulatively it was a lot, but Jack didn't think anyone wound counted as life threatening. He pulled out the small square aluminum packet and unwrapped the full-size silver blanket. Working around Mac's grip on him, he wrapped the kid up. It was a lightweight blanket, but it reflected 100% of the body heat back to its wearer.

Jack rearranged Mac so he was leaning against Jack. The pilot handed him a bottle of water. Jack popped the top one-handed. Mac's eyes were sinking closed, but he kept rousing himself, eyes roving constantly. Jack pulled him closer feeling the kids heart thud against his chest.

"Hey, here drink this." He said softly. Mac looked at him blankly. Jack leaned in offering to hold the bottle. Mac shied away, then slowly searched Jack's face before accepting a drink. He tried to suck the water down in one gulp.

"Easy, easy, slow down." Mac was beyond hearing. Jack winced as he forcefully pulled away from the bottle. Mac blinked looking at Jack frowning. Jack was relieved to see his partner wasn't shivering anymore. Mac's body tensed and his heart rate tripled when the helicopter lifted off. Jack pulled Mac closer and ran his hand up and down the kid's back. Mac leaned in, his head tucked under Jack's chin.

"13…" Mac slurred.

"Shhhh." Jack soothed.

"They made me...something bad's gonna happen…" Mac said. Jack could feel the younger man's body start to relax. "13…" Mac went limp. Jack took a deep breath, feeling his rage dilute with a different kind of anxiety. What had they made Mac do? Immediately a number of really bad things drifted through Jack's head. He looked down at the darkness outside. And what did they have to do to make the kid do anything?

"We'll figure it out." He said softly, leaning his cheek against the top of Mac's head. Jack honestly didn't know if he had said it to Mac or himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Wood smells of grease...hands...splintered as he's slammed down...thick ropes...can't move...pain...so much pain...Faces...stabbed...blurry...eyes...mouths talking...into his brain, can't think, have to...have to...explosions….

Mac screamed and his eyes flashed open. People were swarming around him, stabbing at his arm, yelling, he couldn't make out faces...he was moving...Mac lashed out with his foot. A face disappeared, he jerked his arm in and elbowed the person holding his arm. The cart under him slid to the side. He rolled and fell off of it, howling in pain when he landed on hard tile. Guns...batons over him...beating, can't breathe...Kicked another guy in the face. More kept surrounding him. Arms holding him down...water, can't breathe...Mac thrashed, his breath coming in short painful wheezes...blood, hot against his hand...more hands, arms, and feet...explosions, bodies flying everywhere...Mac screamed again but was getting weaker...going black…

Jack came running into the swinging doors. He saw two burly security guards holding Mac down, almost sitting on top of him. Jack took in the scattered medical personnel, one with a bloody nose, one holding her wrist. He saw blood smeared on the floor.

"Dammit." He hissed. He had told them he needed to stay with Mac. He shoved his way through and almost got a baton across the head for his trouble. He ducked, came up and twisted the man's hand until he dropped the weapon. The other guard was moving forward, Jack could see the man's eyes wide with fear. He forced himself to keep in mind that they were probably untrained civilians and a freaked out, out-of-it fighting MacGyver would surprise anyone. "Alright now, everyone SETTLE DOWN!" He roared, using his best command voice. 

Everyone froze staring at him. Jack raised his hands and gently pulled the people away from Mac. "Now calm, easy does it...my boy is confused and spent the last two days going through hell...he got confused, he didn't mean to hurt anyone...that's it, calm down. Everything's going to be ok. I'm gonna check my partner here, then we're going to do this again, with me here. OK? Everyone?" Jack spoke softly using the tone he reserved for skittish horses. He eyed each person in the melee meeting their eyes. In minutes everyone had pulled themselves together. Those Mac had hurt were led away. The cart was brought back and Jack carefully bent and lifted Mac up by himself draping his limp form on the cart.

A nurse handed him a pillow. Jack winced at the blood oozing from a number of reopened wounds. He pulled the blanket that had fallen on the floor out from under the cart's wheel and draped it over Mac. Mac's eyes snapped open again and he lashed out, Jack easily caught his forearm, trying to be as gentle as possible. Jack was not fast enough to duck the left cross that slammed into the side of his head. Jack weaved back from another swing, then easily caught both of Mac's wrists. Mac was panting faster than a running rabbit, his body writhing.

"Mac. Mac!" Jack said leaning closer to Mac so the younger man could make out his face easier, but not close enough for a head butt. Mac stilled staring at him. Mac's eyes round saucers raked his environment with an animal desperation. "MAC!" Jack snapped. Mac's eyes flew back to him. The security guards were about to step forward, batons in hand. Jack backed them up with one glare. 

"Wh...wh…" Mac mouthed. Jack felt his arms relax and released him. He switched to rubbing Mac's forearm in a soothing rhythm. He'd been drugged numerous times in his life and knew that given enough your world becomes a mass of tangled sensations. Jack frowned. Mac's had probably become confusion mixed with pain and traumatic memories.

"Easy, easy buddy. You're ok. You're in the hospital. You made it out, you're ok, you're ok…" Jack kept crooning the same thing over and over. Mac relaxed by stages. Jack kept calming in a soothing tone until he felt Mac's body fully relax and his eyes focus on Jack. "There you are," Jack said in relief. Mac went to sit up, Jack gently held him down by his shoulders. "Easy bud, you're safe. I'm here."

"Jack, we have to get out of here...they're going to come back...they're…" Jack could feel Mac's body begin to tighten in tension again.

"Shhh. shhh. I promise I won't let anyone hurt you, ok? When have I ever let you down?" Jack winced at his own words. He'd let Mac down plenty, especially for the past two days. Jack was relieved to see Mac sit back and the corner of his mouth quirk up a little.

"N...never," Mac whispered.

"Well, then. Let's let these good medical people fix you up without beating their asses, ok?" Mac sighed, his eyes floating over to the figures standing out of reach, eyeing him warily.

"S..ry." He murmured. He grabbed Jack's hand with a vise grip, fighting to keep his eyes open. Jack kept speaking to keep Mac and the medical staff calm. Every touch, every noise, every movement around him sent Mac's eyes flying up, his breathing faster. He'd squeeze Jack's hand harder, relaxing only after scanning the surroundings for a long moment. Jack's hand ached and went numb, his fingers turning white in Mac's grip, but he gritted his teeth and let the kid hold on as tight as he needed to. Jack watched in sympathy as the glass was tweezered out of the bottom of his feet, knees, and side. The slice on his side and a couple on his torso and head needed stitches. When they cut off and bagged Mac's clothing to be forensically examined, Jack felt his anger surge when he saw Mac's chest crisscrossed with burns obviously from a cattle prod and a heated iron bar. Jack helped them sit Mac up and frowned at bruising in the pattern of crisscrossing chains. Jack had seen them only one other time.

"Waterboarding." Jack murmured to the ER doctor when the man looked at him with a raised eyebrow. A very special, cruel kind of waterboarding. Jack frowned. In Afghanistan, one of the worst insurgents, a warlord in the hills actually, got off on wrapping his prisoners in heavy chains then dropping them in vats of water, and other liquids. Jack knew that man and all of his followers were dead. Obviously, someone with the same sick imagination or someone associated with that band was involved. Jack made a mental note to have Riley follow-up, it might be their first lead.

Getting blood and X-rays involved a whole other wave of trauma. When Mac wouldn't calm down when they brought up the portable machine, Jack talked the doc into letting him wheel Mac down and stay with him as they took the pictures with him sitting in the wheelchair. Wearing a lead apron, Jack knelt in front of Mac softly babbling about whatever came to his head.

Mac's body hummed with tension as he repeatedly scanned the room, his eyes staying on the table behind Jack. Jack stood wincing at the ache holding the pose caused, but wanting to block Mac's view of the table. It wasn't hard to figure out some of what his friend had been through Jack also knew that with the drugs still in Mac's system they wouldn't be able to give him any sedatives or pain meds.

When they returned to the ER cubicle, Jack winced. The ER was bustling with activity. Evidently, there had been a major car pile up and a few shootings, Jack could easily here the two shooters yelling at each other in slurred voices. To Mac, this was devastating. His breathing was so fast, his eyes wide and he was on the verge of a severe panic reaction. Jack pulled out his phone and dialed Matty. In minutes he was in a conference with the ER doctor, Matty, and a placid psychiatrist that worked for Phoenix.

They moved Mac to the quietest wing in the hospital, the maternity unit. There were only two nurses on and while it might be a night of violence downstairs, no babies had decided to make their appearance for the past four hours. Mac almost tried getting up and running away on the ride down. Jack would stop and gently coax him back down, keeping a comforting hand on his shoulder.

When the double doors of the maternity unit closed, Jack felt as if a ton of pressure had slid from his shoulders. It was quiet, the lights were dimmed but everything was easily visible. Soft music with flutes and violins played overhead. Best of all, the floor didn't look like a hospital floor. It had a cozy, home feeling. Jack could feel Mac, relax-no not relax, but definitely drop from dangerous panic to hyper vigilant. 

They had put a rush on to find out what was in Mac's blood stream, but the psychiatrist said that until they knew, Mac would essentially be detoxing most of the night and possibly part of tomorrow. Jack yawned. He felt worn thin and exhausted. The almost constant worry and nonstop searching and pacing of the past two days left him feeling washed out. Jack frowned, and that was a tiny fraction of what MacGyver had been through.

The suite they put Mac into was roomy, having a soft hospital bed near the windows, as well as a smaller cot crossing the foot of the bed. While the other rooms had shelves and small dressers, Mac's had been removed. A roomy plastic recliner sat alongside the bed. Jack smiled. They had set up the room for the minimum stimuli and took about all of the throwables. They psychiatrist, Dr. Mendez, was good and efficient, but then what did he expect from anyone Matty called in? 

There were only two nurses on, both in pink scrubs that matched the dominant colors of the rooms. Diane was an older round woman who had gray hair pulled back and twinkling blue eyes. She had the air of a very competent grandmother. Heather was a small dark skinned woman with her hair up in a gravity, defying curl. She was a quiet presence that oozed trustworthiness. Both moved slowly and had an air of confident calm, that eased Mac's anxiety at their presence. Jack figured that when dealing with scared moms and panicked dads on a daily basis, they had learned to be the quiet eye of the storm.

Jack appreciated how they told Mac everything that they were going to do and allowed him time to process it before they actually did it. They even managed to get Mac into a warm shower. Jack smiled watching his friend relax even more as they carefully washed off the blood, grime, and glass. Jack had to step out when they stripped his partner and he saw the full extent of what had been done to Mac. Diane and Heather's expressions never changed from peaceful, but when they shared a glance Jack could easily see alarm and sympathy.

Jack stepped into the hall but left the door open. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He found his hands were shaking and tears threatened to overflow his eyes which he had scrunched tight. He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to get himself under control. Mac needed calm, supportive Jack, not the I'm going to cut your heart out with a rusty spoon Jack. Jack would have easily sold his soul at that minute to have ten minutes with the people who'd done this.

"Jack?" Jack looked up to see Bozer hurrying down the hall. His eyes were wild and he was breathing hard. He carried a bag for Mac and a laptop. Jack took a deep breath and tried to offer reassurance to the man, but Bozer who'd spent a lifetime deciphering Mac saw through the facade immediately. Jack asked Bozer to wait and ducked in to hand the bag off to the ladies. He smiled at the tired contentment on Mac's face as he leaned into the gentle massage. Mac looked so much like a joyful cat getting petted, Jack almost expected to feel the room rumble with a purr. Jack stayed out of his line of sight and made no audible sound, allowing Mac the peaceful moment. Jack knew it wouldn't last.

"Jack?" Bozer grabbed Jack's arm as soon as he left Mac's room. Jack winced, Bozer grabbed the same area Mac had clung to, Jack was going to have a nice set of bruises there. He led Bozer out of earshot and brought him up to date. Jack put a hand on the man's shoulder trying to comfort him. He could see Bozer was barely holding it together and wanted to run in there grab Mac, hug him, take him home and never let him out of his sight again-after having a screaming, wailing fit that would include puking and violence. Jack convinced him to stay close, but not to go in to see Mac until the drugs were out of his system. Bozer volunteered to keep Riley and Matty up to date by Skype. Jack hugged the man. This freed him to do what he did best, take care of Mac.

A hoarse panicked scream came from Mac's room. Jack and Bozer both stood up to run in, Jack paused to stop Bozer, who nodded tears running down his face. Jack found a naked Mac huddled into the corner of the padded shower bench he sat on. He was looking wide-eyed at Diane who was on her knees in front of him talking softly. Heather was standing nearby but had given them both space. Close enough to help, far enough away to avoid panicking Mac more. Jack shot her a glance. She looked at Jack sadly.

"We got to his feet." She said softly. Jack nodded and frowned. The kid's feet were awful, they looked like they had been sliced by razor blades. Jack knew only part of that came from the glass Mac had been walking on. Especially with this reaction. Jack slowly moved forward. In the warm steamy air, Mac didn't recognize Jack and put his arms up cowering.

"Hey, bud it's me. Are you giving these ladies a hard time?" Jack said softly, slowly crouching beside Diane. Diane smiled at him and slowly backed away. Mac peeked out at him, eyes wide. He could see how dilated the younger man's pupils were, but at least he was looking at Jack. "It's me, you're safe. Nobody's gonna hurt you. You know I won't let them, right?" Mac lowered his arms. "Right?" Jack encouraged. Jack felt a tap on his arm. Diane handed him a couple of towels and a hospital gown. Jack nodded but kept his eyes on Mac. He slowly sloshed into the spacious shower. Mac's breath caught when he saw the towel. Jack frowned. More than one type of waterboarding.

"Easy, easy." Jack coaxed. Mac blinked at him.

"Jack?" He whispered.

"Yeah, bud…" Jack broke off as he again found himself almost bowled over by a clinging hug. Jack could feel the front of his shirt soaked through, but he didn't care. He glanced at Diane who stepped forward and gently dried Mac off. Mac was shaking again. Mac dug his head into Jack's shoulder and Jack could feel him start to heave with sobs. Jack murmured soothing sounds holding on as the kid bled off emotion and stress. The room was cool by the time Mac's grip relaxed and Jack could feel him go limp. With a painful grunt, Jack forced his squatting knees to work and gathered Mac up and carried him over to the bed, the nurse's had prepared. Jack smiled. Heather was finishing setting up an over the bed cradle to keep the blankets off of Mac's feet.

Jack could feel Mac's body tense up as he set him down. Mac's panicked eyes scanned the room, remaining intent on every shadow, every crack or crevasse. Jack kept talking to him as he gently disentangled his partner enough to put on the hospital gown. Jack could feel Mac start to shiver. Before he could turn to ask, Heather draped a warm blanket over Mac's shoulders. Jack smiled as Mac wrapped it around him. The blanket was fresh from the warmer and fluffier than normal hospital blankets and pink.

"Hello." A soft, Spanish-accented voice said from the door. Mac clung to Jack like a second skin. Dr. Mendez was a tall, balding thin man with a kind worn face. Heather walked up to him and whispered in his ear. He nodded and murmured something. Heather nodded and left. Dr. Mendez turned to Jack, temporarily ignoring Mac, although Jack could see him watching Mac out of the corner of his eye. "You are Dalton?" The man's voice seemed slow, rich almost hypnotizing.

"Jack." Jack offered. Dr. Mendez spent the next ten minutes asking Jack questions. Jack could tell he already knew most of the information but wanted to get Mac used to his voice and presence. Jack could feel Mac's heart triphammer against his back as the kid clung to him like a Koala. When Jack mentioned Mac's feet. The doctor's face almost lost his professional calm.

"Bastinado," Dr. Mendez said softly answering Jack's unasked question, "foot whipping. I saw a lot of it in Bahrain. It is one of the most painful and damaging tortures there is, it's designed to cripple captives so they can't escape." Even while describing the horror, Dr. Mendez kept his tone even. Jack felt Mac slowly loosen his grip, and his heart slow to only faster than normal. Dr. Mendez smiled, his smile warm and welcoming. "Hello, MacGyver. My name is Dr. Mendez. I'm here to help you, is that alright?" Jack looked over his shoulder. Mac's eyes were still round and very dilated but seemed to have lost the blind runaway terror.

"It's ok, bud, he's here to help." Jack offered. Mac looked at Jack, studying his face for a long time before slowly letting Jack go and nodding at Mendez. The doctor kept up a gentle conversation. Mac didn't answer, but no one really expected him to. He backed up afraid when Dr. Mendez brought out a stethoscope, Jack felt Mac's death grip on his arm, but he allowed the doctor to check him over, his eyes squinted shut as he braced for pain. Jack almost smiled. Mac was being more docile than he normally was when seeing a doctor.

Then came the feet. Again Dr. Mendez turned his attention to Jack talking about sports, movies, the weather. As he talked, the doctor casually slipped his hand down Mac's calf toward his feet. Mac wasn't fooled and kicked at the doctor. The man had been expecting that and leaned out of the way not breaking the conversation with Jack. Jack was impressed. It took almost an hour before a yawning Mac allowed the Doctor to lift and examine his feet.

Mac leaned his head on Jack's shoulder having a hard time staying awake. Jack put his arm around his partner. Mac's legs twitched and he tried pulling away several times, but Jack thought this was more in response to the pain of being prodded than fear. Heather materialized beside them holding out rolls of gauze bandages. Dr. Mendez carefully wrapped the kid's feet. Mac was almost snoring, his eyes only slit by the time the doctor finished. He helped Jack lay Mac in bed. Heather nodded at Jack and sat in the recliner taking Mac's hand and softly rubbing his palm. Mac's eyes closed and he relaxed into sleep. Jack smiled his thanks and followed the doctor out to the nurse's station.

The news was about what he expected. As they talked with Matty and Riley over the laptop, the report of the drugs in Mac's bloodstream came in. Dr. Mendez frowned. Sodium pentothal, scopolamine, and others the lab couldn't identify. A powerful cocktail. He told the others Mac was lucky to be alive. Riley reported that the clothes Mac had been wearing were from a hospital, and she was trying to track it down. Three other people's blood was found mingled with his on the pants. Jack and the Doctor passed on their input about the techniques used. Riley's face was an effort of controlling horror and rage her eyes moist. Matty was all anger.

Jack relieved Heather and lay back in the recliner gratefully accepting a heated blanket from Diane. Mac was snoring softly. Jack knew it would be too much to ask for it to last the night, but decided to take the opportunity to rest himself. Jack closed his eyes and was asleep in seconds.


	3. Chapter 3

Bugs...millions of sharp pins crawling, poking into his pain-wracked body, tiny tongues lapping his wounds...Mac screams, no sound comes out...world is airless, black...water flooding his nose, throat...heaviness around him...gagging…

"Sit him up, he's choking…" Calm, female...far away, lost in fog…

"Easy, kid, easy…" Familiar, safe...Jack!...can't...can't…

Hot, sweaty...burning, scorched flesh, the sizzle of electricity...Mac arches his back...can't breathe...tied to a table, wood splinters dig in with every movement, every writhing agony...burns, thick ropes...Mac screams, tries to curl in, protect himself but he is no longer in control...no longer able to avoid...to fight...snap, Mac doesn't know the word for it, it is so far beyond agony...he is reduced to terrified animal...snap, snap, snap...can't walk, crippled...one way to end it...bugs...sharp pins crawling, poking, licking…

Jack grimly held on to Mac trying to keep him from hitting the headboard or falling off the bed. They both had gotten about four hours of good sleep before the hallucinations and terrors had started. Sweat poured from Mac's body even as he shook from cold and fear. He thrashed his screams nothing more than silent wheezes. The eyes...Jack frowned. He knew those familiar, normally implacable blue eyes rolled into starbursts of agony and terror would haunt Jack long after this was all over. He wished he could reach through whatever horrors Mac was reliving and wipe it away, but the man in the throws of full detox was lost in a tidal wave of sensations, none of them good. Jack wished Mac could pass out, but the doctor had explained one of the chemicals in the cocktail had been similar to pure nicotine. Jack couldn't imagine what that felt like. The doctor had equated it to drinking 100 cups of coffee.

Jack was dimly aware of Diane and Heather buzzing around the bed, helping Mac to sit up when he started gagging or dry heaving, offering damp washcloths when Mac's face flushed and he broke into panicked panting. Doctor Mendez made several appearances, constantly looking at the clock. He'd estimated that most of the drug would be metabolized enough for Mac to get a sedative and pain medication in ten hours. To Jack it might as well have been a thousand years.

At some point, Diane made him sit and relax on the cot drinking orange juice and eat a sandwich and chips while she and Heather sat beside Mac offering what comfort they could. Jack didn't taste the food but felt much better after. He glanced at the clock to notice three more hours had passed. Only three to go, Jack thought grimly. He used the restroom and washed his face, shaking it. He glanced at his reflection and grimaced. He looked like he was a hundred years older and had been sucked dry then turned into a vampire. He took a deep breath taking a minute to collect himself before returning to his partner's side.

Mac screamed agreement...he'd do anything, stop please stop...shaking hands...circuitry...explosions, bodies flying...13,13,13,13...the number drummed through his brain...he forced himself to remember...13,13,13….then he wasn't there…

 _Afghanistan had its own feel, an oily grit that matched the over bright hues of beiges and browns...Mac lived in a state of calm panic...detached, boxed up pain and memories...he would walk into blackened blast sites looking for the root of the bomb, his mind blank to the broken bodies, bodies he knew the faces of as they were carried away...the smells that would coat his tongue, throat...taking away any joy of eating, not that the food was edible anyway...worst of all were the faces, the eyes...part terror, part resignation...there were failures, of course. Mac knew no human could save them all, in his head, but his heart was sliced every time he failed, every time a woman or child forced to carry exploding vest or IED died, exploded...He could feel their terror physically even through his green suit. He loved their exclamations of joy as he undid the vest or took the dead man's switch from the straps holding their hands immobile, he loved the breath of relief as they ran even a he turned to finish killing the explosive...most of the bombs were relatively simple using basic phones, or primitive detonation devices, but some...Mac was one of the best bomb techs in the world, had the best record of anyone in the EOD, but even he sometimes faced ones so complicated there was not going to be enough time to diffuse it...and he knew it, the look he shared with the victim...they knew it too. He would try, he would stay trying until the last possible second, often too long according to Pena...Mac lost count how many times he'd been sent tumbling by explosions, they hurt but not as much as the knowledge he failed, and someone died…  
_

Mac gasped and opened his eyes. He bolted upright, crying out at pain as everything whirled around him. Everything hurt. He blinked, everything was still blurry around the edges, but clearer than it had been for...Mac frowned, a long, long time. He looked down. He wore a pink hospital gown. Looking around the room he noted more pink, a lot of pinks. He shook his head and winced as agony scattered across his scalp and neck. He reached up and felt three thick caterpillars of stitches on tender flesh, but at least most of the swelling had gone down. A window with closed curtains was on one side of the bed. He leaned over, grabbing his abdomen as pain flared along his whole chest. He huffed out in pain. He managed to snag a corner of the curtain and pull it. Mac closed his eyes and ducked as magnesium white sun flared into his face.

Mac forced himself to breathe as he waited until the red splotches faded into an unfamiliar city. Mac blinked wincing. The light seemed to spear into every painful cell of his brain. It was a late morning, early afternoon sun. Mac frowned. He didn't know the city, but it looked familiar. He'd been here before and if his guess was right he was in North Cal. Mac tried to smile but winced as pain flared inside and outside of his mouth. Mac became aware of a familiar rhythmic sound and turned, unable to stop the smile no matter what pain he felt. Jack laid stretched out on a cot at the foot of the bed, softly snoring.

Mac had vague memories of walking, dark cold, pain then Jack. Mac shook away other memories that floated past-from two days and however long he'd been here. One constant anchor, he held onto was Jack. He frowned at the pale exhausted man. Jack had prominent circles under his eyes and would occasionally murmur and twitch. Mac slowly sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, collecting his strength and waiting for the annoyingly topsy turvy world to stop spinning. He looked down at his feet and winced at the thick wrapping of gauze around each one. _Snap. Snap. Snap._ Mac felt himself suddenly heave and leaned forward. Nothing but a single strand of drool came out. Mac breathed through his mouth waiting for the memory and nausea to pass. He wiped his mouth with the bottom of his nightgown-Mac knew it was a hospital gown, but what else could you call a pink billowing cover that only covered him down to his knees?

Mac knew this next part was going to really suck and he wasn't wrong. He closed his eyes and breathed through black fuzz shimmying across his vision as he slowly stood up. After a few wobbly minutes, he forced himself to walk. Each step was an exercise in endurance and he was sweating and shaky by the time he reached the bathroom. He gratefully sank down on the toilet and lifted his feet. He was relieved to see no blood seeping through.

Although it hurt like hell, Mac decided he wouldn't do any more damage by walking on them. Mac used the restroom then stood swaying as he washed his hands. He braced himself then looked in the mirror and winced. It looked much worse than it felt. His face looked like a swollen grape, his eyes striped through with red from broken blood vessels. Mac slowly opened his mouth and frowned. Blood coated his teeth and tongue and his breath smelled like rusty nails. Sores lined his cheek, the side of his tongue and his gums. Mac closed his mouth. And he'd lost a molar. Looking down on the sink he found a stack of styrofoam cups and mouthwash. He considered the mouthwash but really didn't feel like he could endure any more agony at the moment. He filled the cup and rinsed his mouth again and again until no more blood came out. By then the water, which tasted like bleach, was cool. Mac found himself sucking down four cups. He forced himself to stop feeling a familiar flip-flop in his stomach.

He closed his eyes and leaned on the sink waiting. Eventually nausea passed and he felt as well as he was going to. The nightgown could easily wrap around him a couple of times. He tied it on the side as tight as he could, and it still hung loosely around him. Mac sighed at himself in the mirror. At least the pink matched the color of the red blotches around his neck and on his chest.

He shuffled out of the bathroom pleased and surprised to find he hadn't woken up Jack. Mac slowly wobbled to the door, holding onto the wall for support. He inched out into the hall. The hospital unit was swirled in shades of pink, soft music played overhead and the hall had the soft yellow glow of light bulb lamps rather than the harsh glare of fluorescent lights. He could hear the murmur of voices down the hall, where he guessed the nurse's station was. Mac sighed. He really didn't think he could make it that far, but he was starving. He inched forward.

"Mac!" Mac half turned at the familiar voice and fell into a lean against the wall. He closed his eyes as the world again swished around him. Bozer ran up to his side and held back, his eyes wide with worry. Mac tried to smile at him, but it was little more than a curved line.

"Hey, Boze," Mac said, or tried to say. His voice was a barely audible whisper and it hurt like hell to speak. Bozer hesitated scared to hurt his friend. Mac reached out a hand and Bozer slowly wrapped him into a careful but all encompassing hug.

"Oh my God, never do that again, never!" Bozer said after he pulled back. His eyes floated with tears.

"Believe me, it's definitely not on my list of do-overs." Mac husked. He was relieved to see Bozer smile, a little.

"You should get back to bed! Why did Jack allow you out of bed?" Mac shushed Bozer before his excited voice got too loud to wake Jack.

"He's sleeping. I'm hungry...and could use a chair." Mac said, reluctantly adding the last. His feet were killing him.

"Right, I'll be right back, you do not go anywhere, you hear me?" Mac leaned against the wall.

"I'm not." He said he wasn't sure if Bozer heard him before he left down the hall in a fast lope. Mac closed his eyes. He would have been tossed up to say whether he hurt more or was more tired. Footsteps drew his attention. A tall nurse with sandy blond curly hair held back by a pink ribbon with a bow walked quickly beside Bozer who was pushing a wheelchair that could fit three Macs side by side. Bozer and the nurse half caught, half helped Mac into the chair. Mac leaned forward his eyes closed, deep breathing a second, his fists digging into the soft arms of the chair. He felt a cold squeeze on his arm and opened his eyes to see the nurse puffing up a blood pressure cuff. She watched him with soft brown eyes that seemed to see and file every one of his aches. Bozer looked back and forth between Mac and the nurse nervously. The nurse smiled as she deflated the cuff.

"Well Mac, you're blood pressure is low, but not as low as I was expecting. How do you feel? How is your pain?" Her voice was squeaky, just shy of being annoying.

"I'm really hungry." He rasped, dodging the question about his pain. The nurse smiled, a knowing look in her eyes. Mac narrowed his eyes and glanced at Bozer who suddenly found the pattern on the pink carpet fascinating. Obviously, word had spread about how much Mac hated being in the hospital.

"Well, my name is Connie and I'll be your nurse for a couple more hours. Do you want to eat in your room or in the dining room?" Mac raised an eyebrow. Dining room? Connie laughed. "You're on the maternity unit." Mac's other eyebrow joined the first. He glanced at Bozer who shrugged.

"Don't look at me, you were already up here when I got here."

"It was the quietest unit and you weren't doing well last night." Mac snorted pretty sure that was probably one of the biggest understatements of the year. Connie went to push Mac back the way Bozer had come from. Mac closed his eyes against the pain and dizziness the ride stirred. He began to shiver. He opened his eyes when he felt himself be snugged up against a table. Bozer draped a warm blanket around Mac's shoulders. Mac sighed deciding he was definitely going to have to build a blanket warmer when he got home.

Connie laid out four containers of jello, two of strawberry ice cream and a glass of iced T. Mac's mouth watered as if he was sitting down for Thanksgiving. As soon as he was handed a spoon he tore into the food. Everything else faded away until the ice cream and two jellos were gone. He sipped the iced tea and looked up at Bozer who was leaning on an elbow grinning stupidly at Mac.

"What?" Mac said opening the next Jello. Bozer pointed to one of the empty containers.

"Since when do you eat green jello?" Mac looked down. He hated green jello, but sure enough one of the containers had been green. He shrugged wincing at the pain then ripped through the rest of the jello. He sat back and sighed, closing his eyes enjoying the feeling of food, well sort of food, sink into his stomach. He felt his stomach talk back and threaten, but he refused to give into nausea. Mac did know he didn't dare eat more. He felt warm hand engulf his right hand. He looked over at Bozer whose eyes were wet and red-rimmed. Mac returned the squeeze.

"I'm ok, Boze. I'm here, I'm back." He said. Bozer nodded and looked down swiping at an errant pair of tears. Mac put a hand on his friend's shoulder. After a few minutes, Bozer sniffled and looked up.

"You have no idea how scared I was...how scared we all were…" Mac squeezed Bozer's shoulder and nodded. They sat like that another minute. Bozer rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and turned away standing. "I got a laptop over here, we can call the others, I'll get Jack…"

"Jack's already here," Jack said. Mac turned his head, his mouth quirking up as he saw Jack pouring a cup of coffee. Even though he rubbed his tired eyes, Mac guessed that he had been watching Mac and Bozer allowing them time alone. He sat down beside Mac and studied the younger man. "How are you?" He asked seriously. Mac's eyes dropped and he shook his head, just a little. Jack put a hand on his forearm, carefully avoiding the multitude of bruises there. Jack looked at the Jello containers and raised an eyebrow. Mac rolled his eyes but didn't reply to the silent question.

"Ok, here we go," Bozer said. He set the laptop down in front of Mac, hit a button then sat on Mac's other side. In seconds, the black screen flashed then Mac saw Matty and Riley looking back at him. Riley's mouth opened in shock a second before she forced herself to erase some of the surprise. Mac could understand. He certainly wouldn't be winning any beauty contests for awhile.

"It looks worse than it is." He said. Matty studied him with a concerned assessing look. She looked at Bozer who turned up the volume. "Can you hear me now?" Mac tried again.

"Barely, are you ok? What happened to your throat?" Riley asked. Mac shrugged not wanting to waste his energy trying to reassure her, he would do that when he saw her in person.

"I'm ok, have you found out anything?" It took almost a minute for Riley to snap back into agent mode. Matty spoke in the meantime.

"What do you remember?" She asked gently. Mac looked down and rubbed his forehead wincing at the pain of the bruising.

"I was driving home…" Blurred flashes, of blood, hands, _Snap. Snap._ He swallowed reaching out for a sip of iced tea with a shaking hand. He felt Jack's steadying hand on his shoulder, "Then just flashes...and 13...Matty, it's important, a lot of people's lives depend on it, I have to fix what I did or people are going to die…!" He lost his voice in the lift of his voice as he felt fear was over him.

"Ok, Mac, ok. Take a breath." Matty said. Mac looked down at the table and took several. When he looked up, he was more in control. "Ok, that's better. Now when I say 13 what's the first thing that you think of?" she asked. _Eyes, explosions, he failed…_

"Matty, that's enough," Jack said sternly. Mac blinked, he was shaking and his breathing had accelerated. He forced himself to take deep breaths. He glanced at Jack.

"No, it's ok, Jack. This is important." Jack studied him for a long minute then slowly nodded. Mac looked at Matty.

"I keep thinking about Afghanistan," Mac took another sip of iced tea. He could feel Jack's surprised look without turning. Mac's eyes fell to his hands. He absently rubbed scrapes on his knuckles. He'd gotten in a few licks, at least. "I keep remembering civilians that were forced to carry IEDs." Mac closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. He forced himself to look up. "The one's I failed, the ones that…" Mac closed his eyes unable to go on. He closed his eyes, he could feel the heat, the push, hear the cutoff screams, bodies flying apart...He was dimly aware of being pulled back and his head ducked down to his lap. He couldn't catch his breath, Mac gasped feeling his heart go a million miles an hour. He heard voices around him, the blood pressure cuff again...And as always, Jack beside him, talking softly, reminding him he knew how to breathe. Mac reached out blindly and felt the older man's familiar hand grasp his own.

Mac squeezed riding out the shaking, the panic, the memories...Eventually, his breathing slowed down and he blinked, slowly sitting up. He felt Jack helping him. When he sat back he took a deep breath and wiped sweat from his face with a shaking hand. He sucked in a few more deep breaths, taking in his immediate environment automatically scanning for threats, bombs, tripwires...he knew it was stupid, he knew he was safe, but he couldn't stop. A hunted feeling seemed to settle on his shoulders making him fidgety and jumpy. He blinked realizing Connie was softly talking to him on the other side from Jack. Mac looked over and squinted, trying to follow her words.

"...Mac? Are you back with us?" She asked softly. Mac managed a nod. She smiled and stood up. Mac looked over at Jack, a sheepish look on his face. Jack smiled.

"Yeah, flashbacks are a bitch, aren't they?" He said softly. Mac nodded and managed a wan smile back. Jack looked up at Connie. Mac tuned them out leaning his elbow on the chair and his head in his hand. He glanced up and saw the laptop was gone. Bozer was talking into it from across the room. Mac sighed. Once again he'd frightened his friend. Mac stared at his wrapped feet and closed his eyes, fighting the impulse to start crying.

Mac felt like there was a tornado inside of him and it was stronger than he was. Mac again what it felt like to have no control, over his brain, body, or emotions. His stomach churned. Connie moved like lightening and held a trashcan under Mac's mouth as he lost the fight and everything he'd taken in reemerged painfully and forcefully. Mac sucked in air, deciding he was right and green jello was evil. He sat up panting. Jack leaned forward with a cool damp towel. Mac took it and buried his face in it, feeling it sooth some of the pain in his face and take the heat away from the streams of tears he was helpless to stop.

Finally, he was able to look up. He could feel Connie rubbing his back, while Jack babbled soothingly rubbing his forearm with a feather light touch. Mac focused on him blinking to bring the familiar face into focus.

"Better?" Jack asked meeting Mac's gaze. Mac nodded.

"Matty…" Mac winced, he had even less of a voice now.

"Everythings good, bud. Riley's checking into a connection with your time in Afghanistan and following up a few more leads. We're gonna get this figured out, ok?" Mac looked down feeling tears breaking against his eyelids like a tsunami. Jack put a hand on the back of his neck and ducked until he met Mac's gaze. "Ok?" Mac nodded, not looking up. "Now, you need to get some rest. Bozer and I will stay with you ok? You're safe, we won't let anything happen to you again ok?" Jack smiled and winked. "Besides, I think your nurses would tear them to pieces, they're very territorial you know." Mac smiled and glanced up at Connie who nodded and slapped a fist into her other flattened hand. Mac found himself laughing. Even though he bent over in pain, it felt great.


	4. Chapter 4

***Wow! Thank you guys for your great feedback! I will finish Inferno, my muse just kept me up all night and now this is totally writing itself (4 chapters in one day!). Weird. I can't wait to find out what happens either. lol. I have to add a warning, this chapter is emotionally intense and there is some talk about suicide (I promise no one dies.) Thanks for reading and your kind comments.****

Mac looked sucked dry of energy physical and emotional. More worrying, he stopped talking altogether, instead of drifting into space. When Jack or Bozer would touch him to bring him he would startle, and look around him looking for threats. His breathing would speed up and he would shake. Jack saw it was taking more and more time to relax. Jack frowned as he and Bozer helped Mac back into bed. The blonde didn't complain like he would normally. He absently nodded his thanks then flipped on his side, his back to the room.

Jack and Bozer shared a worried gaze. The good news is that Mac felt safe enough to turn his back to the door. The bad news was he didn't feel safe enough to face his friends. Jack gently covered him and sat in the recliner. He looked at Bozer and nodded at the cot. Bozer looked like he was going to protest, but he yawned and conceded defeat. He slipped his shoes off and curled up on the cot. Jack yawned and reclined the chair back. He put his arms crossed behind his head. The room was quiet, he could tell Mac wasn't sleeping. His body was too stiff, and Jack could visibly see him jump at any noise. Jack sighed wondering what else to do for his friend.

Jack opened his eyes and blinked. He'd fallen asleep. He turned to Mac to see him curled into a ball in the corner between the bed and window. His knees were pulled up and he was rocking. Mac's eyes were staring into space, wide and he was almost gasping for air. Jack sat up before he could say anything he heard a scream from down the hall. Jack jumped to his feet. He crossed to the door and looked down the hall.

The nurses were ducking in and out of the room. Jack smiled. He'd been with his sister for three of her four children, he knew the sound of birth, although the mother down the hall was using a lot less swears and the threat of bodily harm to her husband than Jack's sister had. A minute later a different scream pierced the air. Jack smiled. The baby sounded healthy and feisty. Jack glanced at his watch and frowned. They hadn't seen the second shift nurses much, probably because of the new mom. It was time for Mac's pain medicine and a sedative probably wouldn't hurt either.

He glanced back seeing Bozer sit up bleary eyed.

"I'm going to the nurse's station," Jack said softly. Bozer held out a thumbs up. Jack glanced at Mac worried, then shut the door behind him as he walked to the nurse's station. There were no nurses but Jack was relieved to see Dr. Mendez frowning over Mac's chart. "Hey, Doc," Jack said. Dr. Mendez looked up and smiled.

"How is he doing?" Dr. Mendez asked. Jack described everything that happened that day and how Mac was sitting in the room now. Dr. Mendez sighed.

"I'm not surprised, the next week or two is going to be very dangerous for Mac." Jack leaned forward alarmed.

"I thought you said he's doing ok."

"Physically he is, he'll have pain and it will take time for him to heal, especially those feet. We still don't know what the extent of nerve damage we're dealing with. But emotionally, he's very fragile." Jack nodded. This he knew. Dr. Mendez reached out a hand to Jack and stood up. "We have to make sure he doesn't harm himself." Jack stared at the man, his mouth hanging open.

"Oh, Mac would never do anything like that," Jack said. Dr. Mendez sighed and ran his hand through his thinning hair.

"I read Mac's file, and I know some of what he's survived. He has a strength and resiliency that is off the charts, really." Dr. Mendez looked seriously into Jack's eyes. "But this is different, he complied with his torturers."

"He had no choice," Jack said feeling his hackles rising and his hands rolled into fists. Dr. Mendez held out a hand.

"I know that, and you know that, but how do you think Mac feels?" Jack looked down the hallway and felt like he'd gotten kicked in the gut. He realized the doctor might be right. Jack felt more afraid than he had the entire time Mac was captured. He knew how hard Mac took things that went wrong on their missions, the guilt and pressure he put on himself even when it was extremely undeserved.

"So what are we going to do?" Jack asked, his voice a tight whisper. Dr. Mendez sniffed.

"He's going to be riding an emotional rollercoaster, he's going to feel out of control mentally and physically. Just do what you normally do, support and protect him. The best therapy would be finding out what this whole 13 business is about and letting Mac help end whatever it was they made him do." Jack nodded.

"That we can do." Jack's voice had a sharp edge of determination and threat in it. Dr. Mendez touched his arm. Jack looked at him, not liking the look on the doc's face.

"It may mean helping him to relive...to regain some of the missing memories." Jack closed his eyes in pain and ran a hand through his hair. He shook his head automatically protesting before he could form words. "I believe in the long run it will help him...keep him from obsessing or being lost in his own head." Jack breathed out and nodded at the doc turning to return to Mac's room. He saw Rachel, the afternoon nurse hurry down the hall. Jack stepped in her path making a firm request for Mac's meds. She looked annoyed and nodded. Jack growled. He had a great respect, no love, for nurses but some...He shook his head cutting off his harsh judgment. He didn't know what was going on down the hall. That didn't mean Jack didn't desperately hope Diane and Heather were on again tonight.

When he opened the door, Jack found himself smiling. Bozer had climbed up in Mac's bed and was sitting cross-legged in front of him reminding Mac of some of the adventures they'd had as kids. Mac had stopped rocking and at least looked like he was trying to focus. He jumped and skittered back when Jack walked in. Jack paused allowing Mac time to adjust to his presence. Mac offered a small smile.

"Hey, am I missing out on more Mission City gossip?" Jack said. Bozer grinned.

"Yeah we were just talking about the time Darlene Martin actually cut their frog's head off accidentally and Mac had to fix it so they wouldn't fail biology lab." Jack chuckled. Mac tried to smile, but his face flattened to a blank sadness.

"She's the prom queen right?" Jack said. Mac's eyes dropped, he didn't answer. Bozer shot Jack a worried look. Jack came over and sat on the arm of the recliner facing Mac. Mac turned away and Jack could see tears streaming down his face. Mac angrily wiped at them. Jack reached out and gently pulled on Mac's arm until the younger man turned to face him. Jack tried to meet Mac's eyes, but Mac wasn't having it. Jack kneaded Mac's shoulder not liking how bony it felt. "Hey, hey! Look at me. Mac, look at me." Mac reluctantly looked up trying to blink away his tears. "I just talked to the doc. Your emotions are going to be all out of whack for awhile, ok? And that's ok? It's nothing to feel ashamed of, you got me?" Mac looked down and absently pulled at the dressing around his left foot.

Jack was alarmed to see some reddish yellow discharge seeping through. He schooled his face not showing it.

"We're going to be here, every step of the way, Mac?" Bozer added. Mac looked up at him and they could see his Adam's apple bob from the emotions running through him. Jack stood and half leaned on the bed, putting his arm around Mac and pulling him closer. Mac didn't fight, but he didn't give in to the hug either.

"That's what brothers do, right bro?" He said softly. "You'd say exactly the same thing to me, right?" Without looking up Mac nodded. "Of course you wouldn't have the depth of wisdom or awesome delivery that I have." Jack was pleased to see a small but fleeting smile. He sighed. It was a start.

There was a knock on the door. Mac jumped and scooted closer to Jack. Jack smiled and wrapped his arm around his partner tighter. He doubted Mac was even aware of moving closer. The door opened and Rachel came in holding a clear cup of pills and a cup of water. She didn't pause, she strode up to the bed held out the meds and glared at Mac. Mac shrank back, breathing fast.

"Time for meds, take them," Rachel demanded her voice hurried and flustered. Mac shied back reacting to her body language and tone of voice more than her words. Jack could feel him reach out and cling to Jack's shirt.

"Why don't you leave the meds and we'll give them to him." Jack offered, his careful tone trying to avoid the fury he felt inside.

"I can't that's not how we do it here. Now take the damn pills." The woman huffed. Jack was up and moving before he consciously thought about it, he grabbed the woman by the front of the shirt and walked her none too gently out the door and into the wall across the hall. The woman looked up at him scared. "I'll get security…"

"Don't ever approach him like that again," Jack said his voice soft and low, and incredibly chilling. The woman blanched. Before she could stutter out an apology or excuse, Dr. Mendez was at Jack's side.

"What's going on?" The doctor asked his voice angry. Without turning away from the nurse, Jack carefully, in clipped tone told the man exactly what had happened. Dr. Mendez straightened. He put a hand on Jack's shoulder. He could feel the shaking in Jack's muscles as he fought not to strike out at the woman. It took a minute, but he was eventually able to gently pry Jack away from Rachel. Dr. Mendez took the cups away from the woman and handed them to Jack. "Go ahead and give these to Mac. I'll handle this." Jack looked at him, the muscles of his jaw clenching. He gave a curt nod and returned to Mac's room. At the door he gently called to Bozer, he handed Bozer the meds and water then turned to stalk off the floor.

Jack knew that Mac would instantly pick up the rage radiating from him. Mac always could, and in his hyper-aware state...Jack was barely aware of his surroundings or where he was going as he stormed out of the unit. He was dimly aware of others scurrying out of his path. Jack was so upset he didn't notice two of the people he blew past were Riley and Matty. Riley shared a worried look at Matty. Matty frowned.

"Go see Mac and Bozer, I'll handle this," Matty said. Riley nodded and went to the elevator. Matty followed Jack at a distance. The man stormed out across a parking lot to a small grassy area where he paced back and forth. Matty could see his flushed face and waving fists. As she drew closer she could hear the constant swears descend into animal growls and angry snarls. Matty waited until he slowed, then crossed to him.

"Hey, Jack." She said as if she didn't know how pissed off the man was. Jack whirled and Matty thought he was going to swing at her. She smiled sweetly unafraid. She'd dealt with a swinging Jack before. It took some time but Matty waited patiently as Jack reigned in his temper. He huffed and ran his hands over his warm face. He breathed out and forced his muscles to relax.

"Sorry, Matty." He said softly. He sighed and plopped down on the grass. Matty sat beside him seeing the invitation for what it was. She waited. When he didn't speak, Matty prompted,

"Doctor?"

"Nurse...Nurse Rachel...should be nurse Rachett." Jack scowled looking away. Matty smiled waiting. Once he got going Jack ranted angrily until he ran out of air or energy. Matty sat and quietly listened. Jack told her about what Dr. Mendez had said. Jack went silent, his bottom lip trembling, just a little. Matty waited. When nothing else came out, she spoke.

"I'll take care of it. Tell me who's good with Mac and I'll make sure they are the only ones he sees." Jack blew out and smiled down at Matty.

"Thanks, that'll help a lot." Matty shrugged. "Did you find anything else?"

"We have the DNA samples of the other blood found on Mac's clothes running, the results should be back later today or tomorrow. Riley found out the clothes he'd been wearing were actually standard wear for Oregon's mental hospitals." Jack turned and raised an eyebrow.

"They couldn't have done this in a fully functioning one." He said.

"That what we thought too, Riley is making up a list of private and public ones that have been recently closed or have a closed wing."

"Finally!" Jack said jumping to his feet. He was ready to kick some ass. Matty stood up. "Bozer and I will stay with Mac." She offered. Before she could say anything else she found herself swept up in a hug and lifted off the ground. Jack put her down, smiled then strode toward the hospital. Matty shook her head and straightened her suit jacket, following at her own pace.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Mac was having trouble following what everyone said after he heard Jack say he was leaving. Mac stared at him, panic on his face. It took Jack a minute to notice. Jack sighed and asked everyone else to step out. Mac watched his lips move, his eyes try to be reassuring, but Mac only felt a black hole inside. Jack was leaving. Mac pulled his knees to his chest and laid his head down on his crossed arms. He was dimly aware of Jack trying to talk to him, trying to explain...Mac felt like the whole world became dark. He was alone, more alone than he was when they….Jack was leaving. He heard other voices, other people around him, but they seemed to echo off the walls of a deep cliff he was falling off of. He had to get out.

Mac pushed himself out of bed and stalked to the door. He dodged all of the arms trying to capture him. He was barely aware of the dizziness or pain as he walked. He had to get out. He couldn't breathe, he was trapped, he was alone...the word echoed alone, alone, alone...he found himself on the stairs going up. He always ended up alone...he realized this time he deserved it. He had done a terrible thing...he would be responsible for a lot of deaths...he was useless to stop it...he should have let them kill him...was his pain worth innocent lives...alone, alone, alone…

Mac found himself on the roof. He crossed to the highest edge and scrambled onto it. He looked down. He didn't feel the breathless fear he normally felt. He looked at the ground, seven? Stories below and watched cars and people the size of ants move below him. Going on about their lives, oblivious to the dangers around them, the danger he'd made...one step...alone, alone, alone…

"So, uh Mac, what are ya thinking here?" Mac turned toward the voice. Riley stood behind and to the side of him. He glanced behind him, Jack, Matty, and Bozer stood silently, fear in their eyes. Mac turned away and looked down.

"I'm tired." He finally whispered wincing at the dry scraping of his throat. Riley took a step forward.

"I get that it's really been a hell of a shitty week." Mac felt tears run uncontrolled down his face. One step…"So Mac, what happened? What got you upset?"

"Jack's leaving." Mac's voice was flat, dead. Riley glanced back at Jack who turned away agony on his face as he ran his hand through his hair. "Everyone leaves, I'm alone…" Mac continued, feeling oddly detached, floaty.

"No, no you aren't." Riley said firmly, "Do you know how freaked out we were when you disappeared? Do you know how hard Jack looked for you, how we all looked for you?" Mac looked down feeling more guilt over the pain he'd caused his friends, again. "We were so happy when you called when we had you back. You are a part of us, you're our family. Don't make us lose you again. Do you know how much that would hurt?" Mac turned to look at her, and his heart broke at the pain in her eyes and the tears streaming down her face. Mac looked back at Jack whose face was pale and he looked terrified. Mac frowned. He'd never ever seen Jack that afraid. Mac realized that Matty was holding Jack back by a hand on his arm. Mac wiped at his face and took a breath. He felt wobbly, his feet announced the furious blaze of agony he'd been ignoring. Mac felt stupid.

"Jack.." He said softly. Jack pushed past Matty and caught Mac as he slumped off the ledge to the roof. Jack squeezed Mac tightly. It hurt but Mac didn't fight it hearing the fast beat of his friend's heart against his ear. Mac's knees gave out and Jack eased him to the cement roof and leaned back. Mac wiped his face, annoyed to find it wet again. He looked up at Matty and Riley who knelt beside him then down, not wanting to meet Jack's eyes.

"Hey, hey it's ok, bud," Jack said softly. Mac slowly looked up, instead of the hurt or anger he expected, Jack smiled in relief. He wasn't so pale. Mac took a deep breath.

"S...sorry...I didn't mean…" He whispered. He looked over at Riley and gave her a watery smile. "Thanks, Ri...I don't...I don't know what...what I was thinking…" Riley hugged him.

"It's ok Mac, just promise you will never, never, never do anything like this again." Mac leaned his head against hers and patted her shoulder.

"Ok." He said weakly. He looked up at Matty and frowned. It was never good to crack up in front of your boss. He looked down again wiping at his tears. He didn't even know why he kept crying. Everything inside was a stormy sea and he had no lifeboat or raft. 

"Mac," Matty said at his elbow. He braced himself and looked up. "You ever do anything like that again you're fired, got me?" Matty gave him a caring smile to take away the sting of her stern tone. Mac nodded and lowered his eyes. He looked at his feet and winced. There was blood seeping through the gauze on both. Mac was feeling lightheaded. Everything seemed to sway. His stomach suddenly revolted and he jackknifed to the side heaving painfully. He had nothing to expel. His arms shook and couldn't hold him up anymore. He was dimly aware of flopping to the cement. The others faded into blurry shadows, their voices into static...he was floating…

Mac gasped as hands lifted him and he was sat down in a wheelchair. He felt flushed and leaned forward dry heaving again. Hands kept him from taking a header over his feet to the ground. He felt hot, sweaty. He glanced down. His feet were dripping a thick trail of blood. He could feel his heart race. He felt his eyelids droop. Then he was being lifted and laid flat on a padded gurney. A cool cloth was put on his forehead. Faces blurred in and out of his vision. His eyes blinked slowly. Everything seemed to be floating far away, he closed his eyes and floated with it.


	5. Chapter 5

_The movie theater seemed large but really wasn't. It was draped in blackness. The empty rows fade into the distance in all direction. Mac knows it's an illusion, a trick his brain was playing on him. He sat in his leather coat munching on popcorn rich in real butter and salt. The screen glows with the clear light being projected on it. In the distance, Mac can hear the ticker-tap of the projector. Numbers flashed by a long strand. Mac sighed impatiently then smiled as the movie started. He munched as he saw himself leave Phoenix. Mac felt a pang of sorrow realizing that was the last time he felt normal, would he ever feel normal again? Mac worked a kernel from the back of his teeth, wincing at the taste of blood. He couldn't wait to see what happens, how this ends. He watches himself get into his Jeep. The roof is down, he can feel the wind whip through his hair. He's humming along with the stereo, wearing shades, tapping the wheel...Mac hears screams..._ _ **snap. .snap**_ **...** _Mac glares wishing someone would shut up the screamer. He looks up and his heart pounds, he leans forward. There's a kid laying in the road. Mac squeals to a stop, jumps out..._ _ **splashing water, crackling electricity, snap. Snap. snap…**_ _another string of numbers scrolls by...  
_

Mac slowly opened his eyes. It took all his strength. He felt like someone cracked him open and sucked the marrow out of all his bones. 

"Well hey there." Mac slowly turned his head and blinked. Jack leaned closer to him, smiling. "I tell ya, kid you are going to make me pluck out my beautiful if scarce hair. I think I could rock bald, my boy Bruce does, right? But I'd really rather not, right?" Mac blinked and tried to lick his lips. His mouth felt glued shut. He tried to crane his neck to see, but only managed a painful wiggle. "It's ok, bro, I got you." Jack reached over the side rail and pressed the button. The bed moaned and his head went up. Mac closed his eyes feeling his gut twist. He leaned forward, heaving. Jack supported his back while holding a kidney shaped emesis basin for him. Mac only had mucus and bile. He closed his eyes and fell back, rolling in pain and dizziness. He felt Jack wipe his face and tiredly looked at the man offering a weak smile.

"You really look like hell, partner," Jack said softly.

"Thanks...Jk." Mac managed to mouth with slightly louder than silent breath. Jack leaned over and offered Mac a scoop of small ice chips. Mac winced as he took them in, then closed his eyes slowly allowing them to melt. They eased the pain of the sores in his mouth...Mac opened his eyes and scanned the room. He was back in his maternity unit room. Above his bed was a metal frame. The frame hung down to two slings which were attached to bandages around his calfs. His bare feet hung suspended in the air. Mac blinked. He could see stitches hanging out around both feet like they were the seams of moccasins. Mac felt pain on both of his thighs and he sported a new pair of bandages wrapped loosely around his thighs. Mac began to pant, looking at the room wildly. An IV hung above his bed with bags sprouting off of it like fruit. Another bandage was wrapped around his upper arm where the IV went in. Mac felt trapped, he tried to sit up, pull the covered away.

"Whoa, easy, easy Mac. You're ok." Jack said frowning as he gently held Mac's shoulders to keep him from hurting himself more.

"Jack, they're coming back…" Mac hissed looking at the door, he tried to sit up, he had to get free before they came back. Jack again stopped him. "Jack, what are you doing? We have to get out of here...we have to warn them…" 

"Warn who, Mac?" Jack asked gently. Mac glared at him and tried to push him off of him.

"Jack...dammit...we have to…" Mac's eyes clouded and he looked up at Jack in

Confusion. He sank back and looked around the room, his expression changing. Jack didn't like the change in expression. He could see Mac adding things up in his head, and wasn't coming up with a happy conclusion. Distrust wormed its way into Mac's eyes followed by betrayal. Jack felt his heart sink.

"Mac, you're in the hospital. You had surgery on your feet. They had to do skin grafts." Mac blinked slowly. Jack could see him almost believing it. Jack offered another spoonful of ice chips. Mac stared into Jack's face a long minute before relaxing and accepting the chips. Jack breathed out feeling a weight lift. A frown crossed Mac's face. "Hey, bud, you still with me?" Mac looked at him with a faraway gaze.

"I was driving…" He said softly after crunching and swallowing the ice. Jack nodded, not wanting to interrupt. "It was...after work. We'd finished…" Mac closed his eyes and raised his hand to his forehead rubbing it with his right hand. Jack reached out and held his left. Mac squinted at the ceiling. "The...Paris, handoff in Paris." Mac looked for confirmation. Jack nodded silently urging him to keep going. "I was driving...it was nice out...had the roof down...there was a kid…"

"A kid?" Jack said. Mac closed his eyes, trying to cling to the memory.

"About ten...blonde, curly hair...r...r...red coat…" Mac began to squeeze Jack's hand with crushing force.

"It's ok, Mac. You're ok." He offered. Mac's eyes widened and he began to gasp for breath. "Mac, Mac!" Jack gently shook Mac. Mac looked up at him and reached up. Jack sat one hip on the bed and lifted Mac against him. Mac squeezed hard as he shuddered and Jack could feel his muscles spasming. Jack began to rock the younger man, gently careful of his many bruises.

Mac is tied down, being rolled...smells hospital...old...mildew...bright square lights scroll by, his eyes keep rolling in his head...dimly sees others in a dayroom...floor grey tile...grease smell of wood, splinters...everything is blurry...pain in his chest...hard to breathe...he'd been electrocuted...cattle prods...his muscles still spasmed he could feel them bunch into hard bulges...cramps...snap. Snap. snap. Snap...13 have to remember 13… 

Mac sucked in air and slowly felt the gauze of memory float away. He could feel his heart jackhammering, he desperately pushed Jack away. Jack frowned looking at him. Mac closed his eyes and began to heave again. He held his abdomen feeling the muscles spasm...he tried to suck in the air the same time as his stomach convulses...He grabbed Jack's arm. Jack leaned in and started to rub Mac's back. He softly told Mac to relax and reminded him he knew how to breathe...Mac finally was able to suck in air and sat back huffing like he'd run a mile. Jack continued to rub his hand. After Mac's breathing slowed, Mac looked up at Jack.

"T...that sucked." He managed to whisper.

"Yeah, it didn't really look like much fun, wanna tell me what happened?" Mac told him what he'd remembered. Jack nodded and pulled out his phone. "Give me a sec, I'm gonna call Matty…"

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

"Grey tile got it." Matty hung up looking down at the gray tile of the VA. She looked over at Riley who was sitting in the dayroom talking to a group of older men playing checkers. Her gaze shifted to Bozer who was leaning over the receptionist's desk making goo-goo eyes at the young dark haired girl answering the phone. As if he felt her eyes on him, Bozer looked at her. She nodded. He straightened and leaned forward saying something urgently to the girl. Matty scowled as Bozer pointed at her, and the woman looked around the corner shooting her a look of fear. She said something and gestured in the air. Bozer grinned, tapped the desk then hurried to Matty's side.

"She said that there use to be a mental health unit down behind the building but it's being torn down to make a new one," Bozer said breathlessly.

"And what did you tell her to make her offer this information?" Matty asked sweetly.

"I might have told her you were my boss and I'd get fired if I didn't get the information for you…" Matty raised an eyebrow, "...and I might have mentioned decapitation, let's go see what Riley got, ok? Ok." Bozer turned and led the way to Riley. Matty shook her head and sighed. She didn't know if she would ever make Bozer into a decent agent, but the guy had imagination. Riley came to join them.

"The boys over there say they saw someone matching Mac's description being wheeled through here. They thought it was odd, they said he was dressed for the mental health unit and came in strapped to a cart but…"

"The unit has been closed for awhile." Matty offered. Riley nodded. Matty filled them on what Mac had remembered.

"It's good he's getting his memories back, right? That means he'll be ok, right?" Bozer said a desperate note in his voice. Riley put a hand on his shoulder.

"I hope so." She said softly.

"It does mean we are getting closer to figuring this out," Matty said leading the way through the double doors to the back of the building. The mental health unit had an eerie echo in it as they walked through an open doorway that had been pulled down to studs. The trio walked through a clear plastic opening at the top of a shallow ramp. The word 'Ambulance' had three letters hanging and one smashed out. Bozer jumped as a newspaper flew across the large open area like an urban tumbleweed.

"Scared?" Riley teased. Bozer straightened.

"Of course not, just surprised that they still made newspapers, that's all." Matty rolled her eyes and led the way into the darkened building. The others hurried to catch up. By the paint colors and old radiators, it was obvious this place had been built in the heyday of the more colorful '60s. Riley looked at the heavily scuffed carpet and wrinkled her nose. It was a vomit green with purple and blue lines curving across it in a dizzying pattern.

"If you weren't crazy before, that carpet would help you get there." Bozer smiled and agreed. All the furniture and fixtures were gone except a chalkboard that still had faint initials and nurses names and room number written in faint ghostly fading letters. 

They were silent as they walked down the hall. It wasn't as worn and creepy as the ones they had all seen in a million movies, but there was a paused feeling, like a heavy breath being held by the air itself. All three felt like they didn't want to disturb the resting memories the walls held. There were few windows and those were barred. Every room had a wooden bed frame bolted to the carpeted or in some rooms tiled floors. The doors to the room had cloudy windows and a row of locked along the handle. Inside most rooms, there were scratches in the wall, stains of indeterminate origin, occasional graffiti and in one room they found what looked like a homeless person's nest. They silently walked past.

The unit ended in an open area with an abandoned nurse's station and an elevator. Two other doors that led off to separate units were blocked by nailed barriers. Matty looked closer. The nails were rusty and the signs saying 'authorized personnel only' were yellowed. Matty turned frowning.

"No one's been through there in awhile." She offered. Bozer was about to ask a question.

"Rusty nails," Riley said before he could. Matty smiled walking up to the elevator and pushed the button. To their surprise, it lit up.

"I thought they'd cut the power to this wing," Bozer whispered. Matty pulled out her Sig and held it in a two-handed weaver grip.

"They did." She said softly. Riley and Bozer crossed to the right of the door, Matty crossed to the left. When the doors flapped open, Matty cleared it then nodded at the others. There was only one other level to go to, the basement. Riley shared a frightened glance with Bozer who tried to swallow in a very dry mouth. Matty nodded at them, she led the way into the dark basement. She paused as the other two fanned out behind her. Riley reached along the wall and found a light switch. There were five switches she flipped them all. The first two appeared to do nothing, the other three lit lights all the way around the short hall. There was no carpet, only yellow stained and cracked tile. Along one wall were rows and rows of time cards and an old time card punch machine. Across from that was a small conference room minus the desk and chairs. The walls were the same color as the floor and had the texture of dirty canvas.

There was more graffiti down here, and the paint covered more walls and had more layers as they went farther down the hall. There were two doors on either side of the hall and the hall opened in one large room. All of these rooms had to steel square doors along their back walls, steel tables that had rusted gutters around them that lead to rusting dirty drains. Chains hung from the ceiling and scales built into the walls hung broken. The tiny windows that ran along the top of the rooms on the outer wall, were overgrown and cast an odd green seaweed light as sunlight tried to penetrate the dust and cobwebs along the walls. Matty frowned. The stuffy air was thick with the sickly smell of pot and rotten meat.

When Matty checked on the others she saw they were nervous and pale, but determined. Matty caught their eye and nodded. The others nodded and fell into a formation at each of her flanks. Matty felt dread as she approached the large, dim room at the end of the hall. The pit of her stomach twisted. She braced herself, having an idea of what awaited them. Matty cleared the room and snapped a light switch to the right of the door before she forced herself to turn and face the room.

She closed her eyes and ducked her head. Matty had been right. They had found the site of Mac's torture. She heard gagging and turned to see Bozer turn and flee from the room, stopping at the end of the hall to bend and puke. Riley looked pale and horror was etched on her face. She looked at Matty grimly and shook her head, she turned to walk out to join Bozer. Matty slid her sig in the pancake holster at the small of the back and pulled out her phone. She set it to record and slowly walked around the room. 

In the center of the room was a large wooden work bench. It was stained with grease and blood. Thick loops of rope dark with dried blood hung from ever corner. Matty felt bile burn the back of her throat. There was a large tub filled with foul smelling rust colored water and thick auto tow chains hanging loosely over a rafter exposed by moldy and flaking ceiling tile. The floor was streaked with blood and showed where someone, Mac she forced herself to specify, crawled on the wet floor, desperately trying to get away or fight. Matty looked up breathing through her mouth slowly, refusing to give in to the burn of her eyes.

On a counter, she saw three cattle prods. Matty decided to take a page out of Mac's book. She bent and blew some of the grit on the counter onto the handles of two of the cattle prods. One came up with a clear print. Matty grinned and paused her video to snap a picture of it and sent it to Riley. She then restarted the video. Along the side of the wall behind the table was a steel two-sided sink. In one side a pile of darkly stained blades and other sharp objects were thrown haphazardly in. Matty scowled. On the other side was a crowbar the end of it curved and smoothly shaped from being heated and reheated. Matty scanned the counter and saw what looked like a large Bunsen burner. Matty gritted her teeth.

"We'll get these sons of bitches Mac." She softly. She braced herself for the last room, knowing it was going to be the worst. Once again she wasn't wrong. What looked like a dentist chair with all the padding removed sat in the middle of a room. On every wall, the ceiling and floor were splatter patterns of blood. There was a counter with piles of circuitry and tools on it. Drops of blood had fallen among and on the circuits. Matty got a close up of the circuits. Matty looked over the counter written in dark red was the number 31 enclosed in a circle. It looked too fresh to be graffiti. 31? Had Mac gotten 13 backward? Matty shook her head and clicked the video off. She turned to leave and froze. On the floor like a discarded snake was a long black plastic tube. Embedded in its sides glints of razor sharp metal and glass stuck off. There were cakes of blood and places where some of the sharp objects had been worn off. Matty turned on her heel and walked down the hall. Bozer was pale and straightened as Matty came toward them. Riley straightened and stowed her laptop. Matty strode past them, her face was flushed with anger and her lips pressed together until they were almost white. Riley and Bozer shared an alarmed glance then followed their boss into the elevator.

They were silent going to the car and sat silently in the car a long minute before Matty took a deep breath and started the car. No one said anything the entire drive back to the hospital.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

"No, absolutely not Matty!" Mac roused at Jack's elevated voice. He blinked and rubbed his eyes as he sat up.

"We don't have any other choice, Jack," Matty said calmly before Jack's thundering storm.

"No! There's another way, we just have to look for it. I'm not putting that kid through that hell again! He can't do it...absolutely, positively hell no!" Mac pushed himself up to sitting closing his eyes and breathing. He reached over and raised the head of his bed to help him. He winced as he leaned forward, grunting with effort as he stretched and unhooked his legs from the slings. Mac bit back a yell of pain when his left foot slapped down to the bed. Mac closed his eyes taking steady breaths. He gritted his teeth and released his right foot. His back slammed against the top of the bed as his hissed in pain and arched his back.

"Listen, what if Mac built a nuclear bomb, or something worse?" Matty said.

"I don't care, it isn't his fault, he doesn't deserve to punished…" Jack yelled back. Mac winced as their voices grew louder and rumbled painfully through his skull. He huffed with determination and sat up. He undid the dressings on his calves and moved to hang off the edge of the bed. He leaned forward panting. His stomach grumbled angrily, Mac wasn't sure if it was hunger or nausea. He moved his arm and winced as his IV pulled. He looked down, tempted to rip the whole thing out, but he knew as little as he was keeping down they would insist on hooking him up to more fluids. He reached over and awkwardly unscrewed the tubing letting it fall to the bed where it promptly spilled clear fluids across the sheet.

"Do you even care what this will do to him?" Jack roared.

"Dalton, don't you dare accuse me of not caring…" Matty answered her loud hostility meeting Jack's. Mac grimaced stretching out his hand snagging the handle of the huge wheelchair folded and stowed in front of the recliner. Mac pulled it closer and used all of his strength to pull the arms apart, unfolding the chair. Mac locked the wheel closest to him then sat and breathed a few minutes gathering what shreds of energy he had.

"Matty, so help me if you make him…" Mac forced himself to reach across the wheelchair. He'd be damned if his friends would fight over him. Using only his shaking arms, Mac managed to land halfway in the chair. He slowly dragged himself fully in and sat. He smiled. Mac wouldn't have felt like he'd accomplished more if he'd run the Boston Marathon, Mac sighed. He couldn't have been more tired either. He reached over grabbed his pillow and set it along the two-foot braces. Slowly, painfully he played his sore feet on the pillow. He unlocked the wheel and straightened his pink nightgown. Mac felt himself grin. He was mobile again. He wheeled himself out of the door, following the ongoing yelling to the small dining room at the end of the hall.

Mac paused in the doorway. Matty and Jack were nose to nose, well as close as they could be with their disparity in height. Both had their hands crossed across their chests and red faces. Mac wiped sweat from his forehead and slowly crept forward. Bozer and Riley sat across from each other watching. They were pale and slowly were sipping soda.

"No…" Jack started.

"Don't you think you should ask me?" Mac said softly. Although barely a whisper, his voice filled the pause in the argument like a snapped whip. All heads whipped around to face him. He wheeled closer, panting. He winced as sweat ran down his side into the sewn up slice. He stopped beside Matty and Jack, close enough to force them to turn and face him instead of each other. Mac leaned forward eyeing them with calm blue eyes. "What do you want me to do?" He asked Matty. Jack shook his head and raised his fist half turning.

"No, Mac...no, you need to go back to that room, get into that bed and heal up, man." Mac smiled at his friend and turned to Matty. Matty dropped her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Mac, we found the place where they tortured you…" Mac sat back his pulse poked against his neck with a sharp finger. He swallowed. Matty met his gaze a thousand suns of sympathy in her eyes. "I took video. I'd like you to watch it, to see what memories…" Mac didn't hear the rest. He turned and rolled out of the room and down the hallway. He stopped and leaned both elbows on the arms of the chair and held his head in shaking hands.


	6. Chapter 6

Mac had spent a long time pacing up and down the hall in his wheelchair snarling at everyone until they finally left him alone to think. At the end of the hall farthest away from the nurse's station, he'd found a small waiting room. It was a group of chairs and plants that hung limply even though they looked like they were cloth or plastic. What had drawn Mac in was the huge window lining one whole wall. So Mac was sitting in the dark watching the glowing lights of the city outside. He'd watched as night seeped through the cracks between buildings. He had watched as lights in offices went off and lights in apartments went on.

Mac looked down at his hands that sat ineffective on his lap. In the end, there really was no choice, he knew he had to watch the video. The very thought made his heart thud in panic. He closed his eyes and leaned His forehead into his hand. He wished he could go home. He wanted to go back to the familiar house, the deck, fires, hanging out...smiling. Mac sighed at the strange city outside. He longed for the familiar skyline of Los Angeles, running, the trails...being brave. Mac thought about all of the things he'd done in his job. He thought of all the crazy things he'd come up with to escape, to save others. Mac had been terrified doing those things too, but he had been able to focus on the problem, solve it...then feel it later.

Mac felt tears again burn his eyes. When had he become so whiny? He wanted to go home, to go back to being who he had been, to be in control...maybe not his environment, but himself at least. He'd faced death before and been saved by accident or dumb luck...he'd even been tortured before, he'd felt severe pain before and had never given up. What was different about this time? Rationally he could tell himself it was the drugs, but in his heart, he knew he was lying. He wiped at the tears, sure he was getting calluses on his eyelids. Mac jumped as a box of tissue appeared on his lap.

He looked up expecting to see Jack or Matty. Instead, he found him face to face with a tiny woman holding a baby. Mac managed to bite back the angry yell he was about to unleash. She smiled at him.

"You look like you need these more than I do." She said. She wasn't beautiful, but she wasn't ordinary either. She seemed to have a solidity that appealed to Mac. He managed a smile. She also had a very Irish accent.

"Thanks." He managed. She rocked her baby and bounced him up and down in her arms. Mac heard something between a sigh and a giggle from the tiny bundle.

"They say I should let him get sleep, but I can't put him down. He's my little guy." She leaned forward and made a baby sound back at the baby. "Do you mind if I sit?" Mac surprised himself by shaking his head. The woman went over to one of the chairs and awkwardly slid one of the chairs over so she was facing Mac. Mac watched as she squinted in pain as she sat. "They never tell you how much it hurts...or maybe they do and it's always worse than they say, I don't know. My names Emily, Emily Killian."

"I'm Angus MacGyver," Mac responded. His voice was still weak, but in the quiet, Emily could easily hear him.

"Angus? Can you get more Scottish?" Mac chuckled looking down.

"It's a family name, from way back I guess."

"Well, Angus, meet Liam Killian Jr." Emily proudly leaned forward. Mac leaned forward and found himself smiling as the tiny scrunched up face and dark eyes looked up at him. Mac knew that Liam was too young to see him, but he swore the baby honed in on his face. Mac looked down, his hands fidgeting in his lap. He could feel Emily study him and fought to not squirm. Even though she's only been a mom for a couple days, the woman already had down THAT LOOK that only moms knew. Mac wondered if it was a hormone thing.

"So why are you in the maternity ward? I assume you aren't pregnant?" Mac chuckled but looked out the window.

"No, of course not. They just needed to put me…"Mac's eyes dropped to his lap. How could he describe the tornado inside? He felt more tears fall and huffed part angry part embarrassed. "When I came in...I needed to be somewhere quiet." He managed as he wiped his eyes.

"I understand," Emily said in the same tone. Mac looked up seeing that she was looking sadly out of the window. Her eyes filled with tears. Mac offered back the box of tissue she shook her head. "Isn't it amazing how when you think there can't possibly have any more tears, more pop out." Mac nodded but didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry, I'm not ver good company." Mac apologized. The woman had been so happy before she sat down. Emily looked at him and made an effort of smiling.

"I'm not either really, honestly if it wasn't for Liam...I'm not sure if I'd get through the day." Mac nodded in agreement. "You've had a tough time of it, I think," Emily said. Mac felt more tears burn down his face and angrily swiped at them.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"No worries, none at all. It's actually nice to have someone to cry with." Mac looked up at her she glanced up then returned her gaze to Liam who was sound asleep. "Everyone expects you to be ecstatic when you have a child. I'm thrilled, don't get me wrong. I don't think I ever truly knew what unconditional love was until I had this little one. But it's terrifying…" Mac raised an eyebrow. That he didn't expect.

"Terrifying?" Mac asked.

"Yeah. It's thrilling to pick out the colors of the nursery, baby clothes, celebrating with your family, and watching a tiny blob grow into a human being inside you…" Emily broke off awe in her voice. She looked over at Mac. "But then you hold this tiny, new life in your hands and you have to give him everything, even when you are empty." Emily rolled a gold band on her ring finger with her thumb.

"You're husband must be happy." Mac offered. More tears built up in Emily's eyes.

"He would have been." She said softly. Mac leaned back.

"I'm...I'm sorry." He said feeling like he'd just managed to stuff his boot in his mouth again.

"He died six months ago. We'd just found about little Liam as he was diagnosed with Lymphoma. He never liked to go to the doctor, he was ridiculously stubborn, so he didn't know until it was too late."

"I'm sorry," Mac said, meaning it this time. She smiled at him then reached out to straighten the baby's blanket.

"Every day I have no idea how I'm going to get by, get through...but then I look at these tiny hands…" Emily smiled as Liam's tiny hand wrapped around her finger. "And they pull me through, who else can tell him about his daddy? Who else can love him like I do?" Mac looked down and rubbed at his nose. Waves of grief and loss washed over him. He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. "Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't burden you…" Emily said. Mac waved a hand to keep her from standing.

"Like you said sometimes you need someone to cry with, and I"ve been crying way too much lately." Mac hated the quiver in his voice. He could feel the pity in Emily's eyes and glared out the window. He faced her when she laughed.

"Oh, you are just as stubborn as my Liam was!" She explained quickly. "Always had to be the one to fix things, always carrying the world on his shoulders and always, always blaming himself when it fell." Mac managed a smile.

"Yeah, that actually is pretty accurate." He were silent a long minute.

"You have quite the crew with you, family?" Emily asked. Mac thought about it and nodded. "I heard them earlier." Mac went to apologize. "No don't worry, I don't sleep much, I'm by nature a worry wort. They want you to do something you don't want to?"

"It's more complicated than that," Mac said softly looking down at his hands. Emily frowned, hesitant to press. Mac felt like he owed her an explanation after all she had shared. "I...something happened and I ended up doing something...I want to fix it but can't remember everything that happened. There's a video…" Mac trailed off clearing his throat, but unable to push out any more words.

"You don't want to remember." Mac stared at his hands that sat on his lap like two helpless puppies. "Seems to me you've already done the hard part." Emily offered. Liam started to fidget and cry. Emily stood up and started to rock him gently patting his butt and making shushing sounds. She smiled down at Mac's confused look. "You already survived...whatever it was. How can remembering be worse than that?" Mac stared into space.

"When I remember I'm back there...going through it again." He whispered.

"Oh...would your family keeps you back there?" Mac frowned up at her confused. Liam began to sniffle reaching his tiny hand out for something. "I mean if it got too bad they would stop the video, right? I mean they're you're family, right?" Mac looked out at the city pondering her words. "Do you wanna hold him?" Liam began to squirm. Mac looked up terror on his face.

"N...no that's alright."

"You're scared of a little one?"

"They're...he's...breakable." Emily actually laughed.

"Babies are tough, a little holding won't hurt him. They are born ready to survive, even with a new clueless Mum." Before Mac could protest further he found himself with an armful of wriggling baby. He managed to put him in an awkward football hold and looked down at him. Liam stopped and was looking up at Mac with a fascination. Mac wondered what he saw. Liam reached out a hand and frowned when it was taken. Mac shifted and held out a hand. Tiny fingers wrapped around it. Mac felt himself smile in wonder at the tiny size and the doll fingernails. He felt something inside of him calm and open at the thought that he held a new life, a pure soul unpolluted by life and danger. Mac felt humble holding him.

"You're good with him," Emily said accepting Liam back and fitting him against her as if he were a puzzle that fitted in all her curves perfectly. Liam began to cry. "I think someone's hungry. Thank you, Angus. I enjoyed talking with you.'Mac nodded as the woman swayed away, rocking her baby as she went. Mac could only stare after her. He turned at a familiar laugh.

Jack leaned against the wall, behind a plant. Mac raised an amused eyebrow. 

"You know that's more than a little creepy, hiding and spying." He said. Jack shrugged and walked over to the chair in front of Mac. He sat down.

"It was worth it just to see you hold a baby." Jack laughed again, "All the times I ever needed a camera." Mac rolled his eyes and shook his head, but couldn't get rid of the lingering smile on his face. Jack studied him and smiled, "They are magical aren't they? I remember when I held my sister's newborn...it's like holding this...this tiny thing that hasn't been fucked up by the world yet." Jack met Mac's thoughtful gaze. "Whenever I see them, it reminds me why I do this kind of work."

"That and you like to beat the crap out of bad guys." Mac teased. Again Jack shrugged.

"Play to your strengths," Jack said. Mac's smile vanished and he sighed. Jack could see him make a decision, and he knew what it was by the stubborn determination in Mac's face. Normally Jack would have been thrilled to see Mac return to himself a little more, but he was genuinely terrified of what will happen to Mac after reliving everything. "You're going to watch the video."

"I have to," Mac said softly, unable to conceal the fear in his voice.

"Mac we almost have the guy's ID'd the DNA results are going to come in any second and Riley is cleaning up a print Matty got at the the...the crime scene." Mac smiled at his partner trying to protect him, but Jack can't protect him from himself. He leaned forward and put a hand on Jack's knee.

"I have to do this Jack. It's more than just catching the guys or preventing something terrible from happening...it's proving that I'm...I'm not broken." Mac stumbled through, ordering his thoughts as he went. He felt Jack's hand on his.

"No one thinks you're broken…" Jack began. Mac met his gaze.

"I do...I never felt…" Mac trailed off and swallowed. Pain? Fear?"...so helpless, so alone before. I...I really think I am afraid of being that afraid again. I have to prove to myself…" Mac trailed off not exactly able to explain the turmoil inside. He felt the heat of tears run down his face. He didn't move to wipe them away. He waited expecting Jack to argue, to spawn affirmations that Mac knew he couldn't take in right now.

"Ok," Jack said. "Ok, I get it. But you aren't doing this alone, that is non-negotiable." Mac met his eye with a grateful smile.

"I know." Jack nodded and sniffed standing up and turning to hide his swipe at his nose. Mac looked out at the city's skyline and smiled. Jack was right. Sometimes you did need a reminder why you do this kind of work.


	7. Chapter 7

Frustration was a million tiny teeth nibbling under Mac's skin. He just wanted to get the watching the video over, to stop whatever was going to happen from happening. In a weird solidarity all of the team from Phoenix insisted Dr. Mendez be available to monitor Mac during his watching. Mac huffed and punched his pillow again. He couldn't even pace, being grounded because of bad feet. He had been circling the unit until Jack had put his foot down and literally picked him up and thrown him in bed.

The nurses were in on it too. They already had the bed made and pillows piled up to support his feet. Mac was glad they hadn't tried to tie him down to the frame over the bed again, but he felt like they were wasting time. Mac growled. HIs feet were itching like hell. He twitched his toes and sat up rubbing his hair.

"Still not sleeping," Jack said from his sprawl in the recliner beside him. Mac glared over at him, but in the dim light, the older man was a blanketed shadow.

"No kidding!" Mac gritted. "We're just wasting time it's only a video…"

"No, it's not just a video." Jack said sitting up, "It's going to be hard to watch, man."

"Yeah, I know but they have got to be getting ready to do whatever they're planning, right?" Mac demanded.

"We don't know that. They might have called the whole thing off when you escaped."

"If I escaped." Mac huffed. He was getting tired of everyone treating him like he was about to crumble into pieces, and he was even more tired of the holes in his memory and the not knowing… 

"You need to get some sleep, bud. Do you want me to get Diane or Heather to get you something to help?"

"No, I'm fine." Mac pushed the head of his bed up and yawned.

"You sure about that? You've been hurting all day and haven't kept anything down in the past few days, you're running on fumes, dude." Jack offered. Mac huffed and put a pillow across his lap and started straightening the pillowcase. He shook his head.

"I agree with Jack." Bozer offered from the cot at the end of the bed, "your fumes are running on fumes. If you have to go through all...that again...you need to brace yourself, Mac, it's…" Mac sighed at the hitch in Bozer's voice. He knew his friend had been really bothered by visiting the VA hospital. But Bozer wasn't a trained operative, he leads with his heart, not his head.

"I know," He conceded in a soft voice, "I know. I appreciate you guys helping me...but I can't...I just can't…"

"Turn that noggin' off, I get it, Mac I do. But there's nothing you can do right now."

"I know," Mac growled punching the pillow. Mac held it against his chest and clutched it in his crossed arms rocking back and forth without noticing. Jack frowned, his worry increasing.

"Well, maybe we can work on the mystery of this 13?" Bozer offered.

"Yeah, how?" Mac grumbled. He watched as Bozer sat up.

"Well let's think about 13." Bozer began. Before Mac could say anything Bozer continued, "Let's see I think of triskaidekaphobia."

"Tri- what's it?" Jack asked raising an eyebrow.

"Fear of the number 13." Mac supplied. "Bozer, I-"

"Johny Cash wrote a song called _Thirteen. "_ Jack said.

"See Jack that's what I'm talking about! There's Friday the 13th, 13 Ghosts, District 13…" Bozer listed.

"Oh and Ocean's 13, 13 hours-oh that's a good one!." Jack followed.

"Lucky 13, 13 Reasons Why-I have to confess that one drew a tear or two," Bozer added.

"Apollo 13," Mac said.

"Oh, that's a great movie!" Jack gushed.

"Not the movie Jack, the space mission. The solutions they came up with to come home...:" Mac smiled, " they were always some of my heroes."

"There were 13 apostles, covens have 13 witches, and the 13th month of the Mayan calendar was when the world was supposed to fall apart in 2012, there are 13 stripes on the flags, 13 original colonies, a baker's dozen, PG-13..." Bozer was almost bouncing on his cot, his enthusiasm growing. Mac rolled his eyes. His friends were making it into a contest. Mac didn't mind it took his mind off the next...Mac checked the clock...two hours.

"At 13 Jewish boys have their Bar Mitzvahs," Jack said.

"Loki was the 13th God in Norse Mythology."

"Awesome, Bozer. Although Thor was way cooler with his hammer and the lightning…" Mac could see Jack punch the air as if he held Thor's hammer.

"Guys, I doubt that I would…" Mac trailed off swallowing, "I doubt that whatever I did would be related to any of that stuff." Jack frowned hearing a tremor seep into Mac's tone. Jack sighed, he knew Mac thought he would be able to handle reliving all of this like it was no problem, but Jack knew it was going to shred him.

"Well, give us nerd speak."

"Nerd speak?" Mac asked Jack could hear the amusement in his voice.

"Yeah, you know all those math and science stuff that no one else understands." Mac sat back.

"You might be on the right track," Mac said softly.

"So?" Bozer prompted.

"Well, there's 13 sides on a tri decahedron, Neptune has 13 moods, OPEC has 13 members Caesar was in charge of the 13th Legion. There's actually almost 13 lunar cycles in a year, not 12 like the calendars say, the monks who made up the calendars just wrote one off and called it a blue moon when it happened…" Mac babbled.

"Ok, great, what else you got?" Jack said interrupting what he considered to be a technical side rant. Mac frowned at him then sighed. He put his chin in his hand and leaned against the railing of the bed.

"Well Aluminum is the 13th element on the periodic chart, the 13th group is the borons, there are 13 notes in a full chromatic octave by inclusive counting…" Mac continued.

"What the hell-?" Bozer started.

"Keep going, Mac," Jack said sternly.

"I can tell you later, Boze," Mac reassured. "Let's see it's a third centered square number, but they are significant for their geometric and mathematical elegance…" Mac could feel both of the other men stare at him. "What?"

"You're such a nerd, elegance means fancy dining with a pretty lady." Jack scoffed.

"It's a mathematical term, Jack." Mac protested.

"Fine, whatever, go on."

"It's a Fibonacci number, one of the three Wilson primes, a happy number…"

"Are you serious? After all the people it's killed?" Bozer said, his voice raised in surprise.

"That's just superstition, Boze," Mac said.

"No, I'm with Boze, there ain' nothin' happy about 13, there's a reason that they keep the number 13 out of building plans, sports like a triathlon...never tempt fate, my friend never tempts fate."

"Like Cairo day?" Mac said.

"I'm just saying…" Jack said.

"For your information, Jack, a happy number is one where you can take any positive integer and replace it with the sum of the squares of its digits…"

"Alright! Alright! You are making my head very unhappy." Jack whined. Mac sighed. He rested his head back on his arm folded behind his head. Mac swallowed with difficulty, as the realization that he really was going to go back into that torture chamber, even if on video. **Snap snap snap snap** Mac sucked in a breath and let it out trying to chase the memory away. He felt his feet twitch with each snap his brain played.

"Mac?" Jack asked concerned. Mac opened his mouth to speak, but his mouth was too dry...He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. He forced himself to clear his throat. He could feel Jack getting ready to ask questions he really didn't want to answer.

"13 x 13 is 169, 13 is a palindromic prime, it's part of a Pythagorean triple…" Mac said softly, his eyes closed.

"Hey, hey, bud. It's ok…" Jack said. Mac turned away from him and felt an errant tear run down his cheek. Mac sighed, he'd actually gone almost five hours without crying. He grabbed the rail closest to the window and heaved himself over to his side. He winced as his feet knocked into each other and gasped as he dragged them apart until he found the least painful position.

"I'm gonna try to sleep." He whispered.

"Ok, kid," Jack said softly.

"Dream happy dreams, Mac. Numbers or bunnies, whatever…" Bozer offered. Mac smiled sadly but stared out the gap between the curtains watching a sliver of the city outside. He closed his eyes, knowing there was no way he could sleep.

 _The movie ended and lights came up...Mac found himself in a lecture hall, a kid in a red jacket was tapping on a chalkboard where lines of math and numbers scrolled up…_ _ **you think you're being clever? We can keep this up all night, all week…**_ _metal cutting into his back, brown water, the smell..._ Mac gagged trying to catch his breath… _a roll of numbers, he had to think, had to remember 13 it's the key to stopping...electric sparking, Mac arched his back, ropes cut deep into his wrists and ankles...no, no, no..._ _ **you're going to help us or die, MacGyver...**_ _you know me?...laughter, knife...blood, slowly cutting...snap snap snap snap...throes of torment..._ _ **oh yes, I know you MacGyver, I know you better than you know yourself…**_ _hands holding him down, hot glowing metal...Mac screams…_

"MAC!" Jack yells at his ear. Mac sucks in desperate air, his eyes raking the room. The light was on. Bozer was holding his legs, keeping his feet off the bed. Jack was at his side and the two nurses were standing at the ready, one holding a syringe. Mac almost bolted upright, his eyes wide. He felt cold, sweaty, shaky. He closed his eyes and tried to shoo away the tendrils of the dream, remembered pain...fear, paranoia...he felt Jack's warm hands take his wet shaking one in their grip. Mac began to shake, his teeth chatting, his eyes opened wide as he felt his body vibrate, totally out of his control. He tried to take in slow breaths, but his body demanded more oxygen faster. He looked up at Jack's worried face and tried to smile. Jack turned to say something to the older nurse who nodded and left. She returned a minute later with a warm blanket. Mac closed his eyes trying to get his equilibrium back. He looked up as Bozer gently laid his feet on the pillows as if they were precious gems.

"S….s...s...ry." Mac managed to stutter. Jack began to run his hand up and down Mac's forearm.

"It's ok, bud. Just breathe. I don't think you should watch…" Jack started.

"I...I...rem..mbered….m...re." Mac chattered.

"Really? What?" Jack asked.

"T...th...ey...k...k...knew me," Mac said. He frowned feeling a burning in his upper arm. He glanced over to see Heather finish injecting the medicine in his IV. "Wh…?" Mac slurred. She patted his shoulder.

"You need some real rest, Mac." Mac felt his eyes grow harder to keep open, he felt his muscles flush with warmth, and stop shaking.

"No...night….ma...res...video...dr...men…" Mac's eyes closed and he couldn't open them again. Jack shook his head. He put Mac's limp hand under the covers and straightened them. He looked at Bozer and they both silently agreed, there was no way they were going to let Mac watch anything to do with his torture. Jack nodded toward the door, Bozer nodded and joined him after patting Mac's arm.

"You get some sleep, buddy." He said. Bozer brushed an errant strand of blonde hair away from Mac's sweaty forehead. Bozer smiled at Heather and nodded at Diane as he followed Jack out into the hall. Not surprisingly they both ran into Matty and Riley standing outside the door.

"How is he?" Matty asked. Jack sighed and shook his head. Matty nodded.

"We got something." Riley offered. "The DNA and fingerprint came back, they aren't in any database." 

"Dammit!" Jack breathed.

"But they are a close match to this guy," Riley added. She pulled out her laptop, opened it and turned it to face the others. A United Nations ID came up with the picture of a man with a long face and tall halo of white hair that matched his goatee. In large letters was his name, Kirby Dent.

"Oh hell." Jack murmured running his hand through his hair. The others waited watching him. "This is probably classified six ways from Sunday, but he was in Afghanistan investigating human rights violations. Our team was assigned to protect him and his team while he looked into a mass grave we came across outside Falluja."

"Why would he attack Mac?" Bozer asked.

"It wasn't him, but three males that are related to him somehow." Riley countered.

"Ok, why would they attack Mac?" Matty asked. Jack sighed.

"I don't know, but I know that the man died…" Jack shook his head and looked down at the floor. "His wife had been forced to wear a bomb vest. Mac tried to disarm but couldn't."

 _Jack's heart had settled firmly in his throat. He kept scanning the small crowd looking for something, anything suspicious. Glancing at Mac, he shook his head watching the unflappable Mac slowly kneel in front of the sobbing elderly woman. Jack saw a blur in the corner of his eye. He whirled and managed to catch the woman's husband from running to her side. The man struggled to scream her name. The woman looked up and Jack saw her reach out to the man with her tearful eyes_ _...The man elbowed Jack in the face, as Jack ducked, the man pulled free. He screamed the woman's name and ran forward. Mac turned. Kirby shoved Mac back. Mac tumbled to the ground, his bulky green suit making his movement awkward. Jack started to run in Dent's wake when Kirby grabbed the vest and tried to pull it off. Jack was flattened by the explosion. He shook his head and rolled to his knees. An unmoving MacGyver laid near the burnt broke skeletons of the couple…  
_

"That wasn't Mac's fault!" Bozer said defending his best friend.

"Obviously someone thinks so, did he have a family?" Matty asked. Riley who had been typing looked up.

"I found a record of a son, but no record of him after he turned three."

"How would he even know about what happened in Afghanistan?" Matty asked. They were all silent trying to think of an explanation.

"According to UN records…"

"You hacked the UN?" Bozer asked his eyes raised. Riley smiled.

"I didn't hear that go on," Matty said.

"According to UN records, a Lionel Bolan claimed the remains for burial." Riley looked up. "He lives here!"

"Bingo!" Bozer exclaimed. He turned to look at Jack who was gazing at his partner through the open door. "What Jack? I would think you're ready to stomp this guy into powder." Jack shot Bozer a cold glance that showed exactly how much he would like to stomp this guy.

"But how will Mac react to Jack leaving." Matty supplied. The others' faces fell. The silence between them grew heavy as they remembered the image of a pale distraught Mac wobbling on the brink of a seven-story rooftop haunted them.

They hesitantly brought up the subject to Mac as he again tried eating. Connie had helped get Mac up to his wheelchair in the dining room. Jack closed his eyes waiting. Mac was having a really good day. He had pressured his nurse to help him take a shower and got into sweats and an MIT sweatshirt. Mac kept down a strawberry nutrition shake and was half way through his second. Judging from his scowl after he ate it, Jack guessed that was quite a challenge. Diane had left a small box of paperclips and Mac was turning one in his hand as he tried to choke down another nutrition shake.

"Uhm, Mac we…" Jack started. Mac looked up at him, then looked into the faces of the others. He put down the shake with a serious look.

"You found something." His voice was a subdued mix of excitement and dread.

"Yeah, we found the dude…"Bozer began.

"We found a lead that looks pretty solid," Matty cut the man off with a cool glare. Mac sat back and started pulling the paperclip apart absently as he looked from face to face. His gaze fell on Jack, and Jack didn't miss the slight tremor in Mac's hands.

"You want to go follow up." Mac guessed. The others leaned forward waiting, to their surprise, Mac smiled. It wasn't a strong or confident smile but it seemed to be genuine. "Good." He nodded looking down at the paperclip. Jack frowned and leaned forward. He sat across from Mac.

"Bud, will you be al…" Mac looked at him, an angry determined glare on his face.

"I'll be fine." His tone was clipped. Mac seemed to take in their worry and let out a long breath. "Look, I'm a lot better now. I even feel almost like myself. Plus we have to get these guys, I'm amazed something hasn't happened yet. I'll be fine." Mac looked steadily into Jack's eyes. Jack studied him a long minute. He could see that Mac was nervous. The kid had readily agreed that watching the torture scene video would be counter productive. He was also being surprisingly docile with the medical routine. Jack narrowed his eyes. The kid was up to something, but Jack would be damned if he could figure out what. Jack slowly looked away. The others watched him, knowing he could read Mac better than anyone and have agreed it would be Jack's call.

"Ok...but if you start getting even a little worried…"

"I'll call. Got it." Mac said with a small smile. Mac sounded so much like his normal self that everyone seemed to let out a collected held breath. They all talked for a few minutes before Mac rolled his eyes, "Go! Go already!" Mac finally said tired of all the small talk. He knew they were waiting to see if he broke down before he left. The others looked at each other smiling.

Riley hugged Mac first, then Bozer, Jack and finally Matty. Mac's eyebrow rose in amusement.

"Not a word, blondie," Matty said. Mac smiled at her and shrugged. Mac watched them leave. After a long minute, his smile vanished. He put down his paper clip and lifted Matty's phone. He knew Matty had to be off her game when she hadn't felt the lift. Looking at it, Mac felt his heart rate increase and took a sip of shake trying to wash away the lump in his throat. He set it aside feeling his stomach churn unsteadily. He saw Emily coming toward him in street clothes carrying Liam. Mac hastily tucked the phone under his left leg.

"Hey, you." She said approaching Mac's table. Mac smiled and gladly accepted a one-armed hug. He smiled at Liam. "We're just coming to say bye." She held out Liam. Mac couldn't stop grinning taking the cooing bundle without hesitation. He looked down as wide blue eyes looked up at him. Liam smiled and waved a tiny fist. Mac could feel tiny feet kicking against his chest.

"Hey Liam, are you taking care of your mom?" Mac asked softly. At his voice, Liam frowned and studied Mac's face with a studious wisdom. Mac swallowed feeling like Liam was calling him out for lying to his friends and stealing Matty's phone. He handed the baby back to his mom. "He's...he's amazing." Mac breathed feeling a pressure behind his eyes. He picked up the paperclip and worked it as he watched Emily talk to her baby as she settled him into a car seat. The car seat seemed to engulf the tiny body. Liam protested but didn't cry. Mac realized he had never heard the baby cry. As if reading his thoughts,

"He hardly ever squalls, do you baby?" Emily said shooting Mac a smile. "He's very like his daddy that way." Emily sniffed and closed her eyes.

"You're going home?" Mac asked trying to distract the woman from her overwhelming grief. Emily wiped at her nose with the back of her hand. "Yeah, home home." Mac frowned. Emily laughed, a bitter snort. "We're going back to Ireland. I have family here and here…" Her eyes seemed to float back into a sea of pain. Mac looked down.

"Too many bad memories." Mac guessed. He shifted. The phone under his leg seemed to scald his thigh. Emily nodded and took in a deep breath.

"We need a new start." Emily leaned down and kissed Mac on the cheek. "You take care of yourself, Angus. You stay strong." Mac met her eyes.

"I will if you will." He said softly giving her a bigger hug. Mac managed not to cry as she nodded and wiped her eyes. "Hey, here." Mac offered her the paperclip figure of a dove. She wrapped her hand around it gently and put it in her pocket. She nodded, grabbed the car seat and left. Mac watched her leave until he couldn't see her anymore. Mac rubbed his forehead suddenly feeling ver alone. He pulled out the phone and stared at it a long time. With painful honesty, he asked himself if he really could get through reliving everything on his own. He sucked in a breath and with a shaking hand went to scroll through Matty's videos. He saw the first still shot of the torture room and closed his eyes breathing hard. He slapped the phone down face first on the table realizing the answer was a no, a resounding no.

Mac felt a weight fall from his shoulders. His friends would stop these monsters he told himself. Mac leaned his head back sighing in relief. He closed his eyes and took in an air that seemed lighter. He found himself smiling, accepting his weakness with a surprising amount of self-forgiveness. For the first time, he felt like there was hope, an end to the nightmare that had been suffocating him the past week.

"Hello, MacGyver." Terror jackknifed through his moment of peace. His head whipped up and he stopped breathing. Standing on all sides of him were his three torturers.


	8. Chapter 8

Jack pulled up half a block from Lionel Bolan's house. It was a simple white bungalow with burgundy shutters beside every window. Not that the shutters were necessary. Every window was covered by crinkled aluminum. Behind the house was a tall antenna with a large dish on it. Behind the house was a large shed that matched the house for color and aluminum foil in the windows.

"That's not suspicious at all," Riley commented.

"The foil blocks laser audio devices," Matty said.

"And that huge ass antenna looks like one from a TV or radio station." Jack scanned the house. There were no signs of movement. He turned to the back seat where Riley and Bozer sat.

"You two go in the front door, try to distract anybody that's in there." Jack pulled out his beretta and glanced at Matty who already had her sig ready. She nodded.

Bozer walked up the sidewalk trying to be cool, but his glancing around only made it more obvious that he was nervous.

"Will you stop looking around!" Riley hissed. Bozer snapped his head forward.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"No, kidding," Riley said softly as they walked up a perfectly manicured lawn to the front door that was painted to match the shutters. There was no doorbell button or knocker. Bozer walked up to the door and was about to bang on the door when Riley stopped him and pushed him over to the side of the door. Bozer looked at her confused.

"Just in case." She whispered. His eyes widened and he nodded. Riley banged on the door hard, like a policeman. She leaned forward and could hear footsteps pound on the other side of the door. "We got movement, more than one." She said softly to the coms.

"Copy." Jack's voice bounced back immediately. Riley went to pound on the door again when it was opened and Lionel Bolan answered the door. Riley went to say something and froze as she looked down the black-eyed double barrel of a shotgun.

"Hello, you don't need that shotgun." She said softly. When there was no reply from Jack or Matty, Riley's heart began to thump loudly.

"What do you want?" The old man said. He stank of old cigarettes and his nails were long and yellow. His clothes were dingy and his white hair sagged under layers of grease.

"We would like to talk to you about this man," Riley said pulling out the picture that she had made of the man who had died in Afghanistan. The man took the picture, his face grew angry. He canted the shotgun on his shoulder after flicking the safety on.

" Kirby Dent, that's the son of a bitch that got my wife killed." Bozer and Riley shared a confused look.

"Can we come in?" Riley asked. The man's eyes narrowed.

"Who are you with? DEA, CIA, FBI?"

"We aren't with any of those," Bozer said. Riley sighed with exasperation as Bozer just implicitly confirmed they came from the government. Riley stepped in hoping to do some damage control.

"We're from a think tank and we are investigating the same human right's violations that Mr. Dent was." The man stared at them then laughed as if they had just told the best joke in the world.

"Human rights?" The man smiled a broken toothed yellow smile. "You really don't have a clue, do you?" Riley and Bozer didn't say anything and waited. The man shook his head and tilted it toward the interior of his house. They put their hands over their noses as they entered. There were containers of old food, some with green fuzzy growth on their contents. Bottles of brackish liquids, dirty clothes, and hundreds of shopping bags were spread everywhere. There were half collapsed piles of broken toys, broken bikes, and stacks and stacks of papers. The walls were covered with shelves of books with spines announcing _Alien Attacks, The Truth of Area 51, Mind-Control_ and it seemed every nutcase government conspiracy ever written about.

"Come on back to the office," Lionel said. Bozer wrinkled his nose. Riley agreed but managed to keep her face neutral. They followed the man down a goat path through a narrow hallway past a bathroom that almost made Riley puke, professional or not. She refused to look in, she looked instead at the room across the hall which had a portion of a grimy bed covered with obvious crumbs and bits of food. The rest of the room was full of scraps of paper of every size and shape with unreadable scratches of writing covering every inch of surfaces. Riley thought of the Unabomber and felt tension tighten in her shoulders.

"I see a rat and I am out of here," Bozer whispered. Riley smiled but didn't say anything.

"Hey, you two ok in there?" Matty asked over the coms.

"Yeah, if you think being in the house of a conspiracy lunatic hoarder is fine," Riley said under her breath.

"We'll be in in just a few minutes," Jack said. Riley frowned. From the sound of it, Jack was fighting someone. "Son of a bitch! That's my new shirt!" Riley heard the sound of fist hitting flesh several times. Jack let out a breath. "Ok we're coming in the back," He said.

"There's a back door?" Bozer asked softly. Before anyone could answer Lionel opened a door at the end of the hall and turned on a light. Riley's eyes went up. Along one wall was a stack of huge ancient tvs all showing some different pattern of static. Across from that stacked from floor to ceiling was miscellaneous audio gear for sending and receiving messages. The far wall was covered with what Riley considered a typical "nutcase" scrapbook. Paper clippings, photos, maps all connected with different strands of yarn. The final wall was a shrine to every computer before the year 1995. Amazingly the haphazard stack of monitors had pictures and various video's running. The cacophony of voices blending with the static was as overwhelming as the stink of the rest of the house.

The floor was made of old dirty boards that were stained with grease, and other things Riley didn't want to think about. The most interesting thing about it was the obvious trap door taking up half of the room. As she studied it there was a loud banging from under it. Lionel turned and pointed the shotgun at Bozer and Riley his face morphing into a sinister mask.

"Make up your mind already," Bozer muttered.

"Ok, come up boys I got them. We can…" Lionel broke off as the trap door swung open and Jack popped up and shot him in the leg. The shotgun blasted into the ceiling knocking down plaster and sending out a shower of sparks from a light fixture. Jack climbed out. 

"Oh, what a stink!" He muttered. He looked at Riley and Bozer. "You guys ok?"

"Yeah, where'd you come from?" Bozer asked.

"A lame excuse for a redneck bunker," Matty said as she took Jack's hand and stepped out of the trap door.

"More like a lot of canned goods, drugs, and guns," Jack said. He rolled Bolan over and put plastic cuffs on his wrists.

"I'll call Phoenix and get...son of a bitch!" Matty growled. The others looked at her puzzled. Matty pursed her lips. "That little…" She huffed and looked up at Jack. "Mac stole my phone."

"He what!" Jack ground his teeth together. He should have known Mac was up to something! Actually, Jack told himself, he had known. He took out his phone and dialed a number he'd learned by heart over the past week.

"Maternity." A flustered voice said. Jack recognized it.

"Heather, this is Jack…"

"Oh, thank God!" The woman breathed. "MacGyver is missing."

"He's what?" The others watched Jack's face pale and shared worried expressions.

"Just after you left, I went back to give him his meds and he was gone. We've paged and searched the entire hospital and nobody's seen anything. The Police are looking at security footage now, but so far nothing."

"I'll be there in 30 minutes," Jack said. He pushed the button as hard as if he were slamming down a phone. He relayed what he knew.

"Do you think he went off on his own, got taken, or…" Riley trailed off. Jack scowled. Had Mac done something, or lost himself in a flashback? He shook his head.

"I'll find out."

"Go," Matty said. She looked at Bozer and held out her hand. Bozer handed her his phone. "We're going to rip this place apart." Jack nodded from half way down the hall.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Mac's world was a kaleidoscope of pain, memory, and panic. The agony of his feet was a railroad spike driven from his heel to his knee as he was dragged down steep concrete stairs. He tried to fight, to think, but his body had betrayed him again, and his brain was lost in pain in his chest, memories searing across his eyes and mixing with his present. The two larger men, twins would stop and beat him when he fell to his knees or blacked out. At least they hadn't used the drugs again. Then the late afternoon sun exploded painfully through his skull. Then the light was gone and Mac was thrown painfully in the back of a van. Mac curled over trying to shake away the cobwebs and forcing his shaking body to respond.

He wasn't sure how he'd managed it but he'd kept hold of Matty's phone. He had shoved it up the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He rolled over and slid his hand under the driver's seat of the van and managed to pull it out and leave it there before he was dragged to sitting against the side of the van. Everything swirled around him. He closed his eyes. A bone grating punch across his already sore jaw knocked him back to the floor of the van. He was picked up by his hair and his head bent back forcing him to look into the eyes of a face that would haunt him for years to come, assuming he survived.

"Took us awhile to find you, MacGyver. Did you miss us?" The man holding his hair painfully asked. Mac could feel blood trickling from his scalp and tears flooded his eyes. He shook so hard he couldn't have formed words even if he wanted to. The other twin knelt in front of Mac and lifted one of his feet and looked at the bottom.

"Not bad, put you back together didn't they." He ran his index finger from Mac's heel to his toes. Mac lashed out with a fist and winced as a sizeable chunk of hair was pulled out when he scored a hit. Mac had a moment of triumph watching the man's nose spurt with blood. But the other man dug his thumb deep into the ball of Mac's left foot. Mac screamed trying to pull away. He saw a glance of the kid who would have been a cute cupid looking child except for the malevolent smile on his lips and crowbar in his fist. Mac tried to go with the blow taking away some of the momentum of the kid's downswing. If it had been one of the men swinging Mac's skull would have been caved in. As it was, he smacked the black rubber of the van's floor and faded into nothing.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Matty stared down at the pale-faced Lionel Bolan like a pissed off vulture.

"You have to get me to the hospital." The man weakly asserted. Matty smiled and leaned over the man.

"The only thing I have to do is turn you over to my men then you'll have the wonderful medical care of Gitmo, or another equally nice dark government location." The man's eyes darted around the room, but there was no way to escape Matty's looming presence.

"What do you want to know?"

"Kirby Dent."

"He's the son of a bitch who got my wife killed!" Lionel said flames entering his eyes.

"Tell me." Matty gritted. The man huffed and sank back.

"We met that loser in the compound of the Real American Patriot Militia in Oregon. That son of a bitch came in and ruined everything. He took control, he took the compound, then he took my Amanda. I hope he burns in hell I've been keeping track of all the goings-on up there." Lionel grinned and waved at the mass of electrics around the Matty had to take a step back from the man's breath. "It came back on him though didn't it? Him and that whore."

"Less gossip more facts." Matty snarled.

"Look Kirby, Amanda and the boys were brokers over in Afghanistan."

"Dent worked for the UN," Matty interjected. Lionel laughed.

"Yeah, sorta I guess. He got hooked up as an envoy, but it was a cover. He could get anything for anybody. He got guns, drugs, hell even women for soldiers, Afghani insurgents or higher ups, if you know what I mean." Lionel was starting to sweat. Matty frowned she didn't have much longer before the man passed out. "When they were out in Fallujah they decided to back stab the wrong people and got themselves blown up." The man's eyes actually brimmed with tears. "I brought my girl home, but they couldn't separate them out, so I ended up burying that bastard too!"

"Who are Dent's boys?" Matty redirected.

"He had twins from another woman he knocked up-Daven and Trevil, I think. And he had a little one with Amanda, Keiden, at least she said it was his…" Lionel's eyes started fluttering closed. Matty frowned, leaned out of the electronic room and waved at one of the Phoenix agents. They carted the man out to a waiting ambulance. Matty shook her head glad for the info but worried hoping that her plan didn't ultimately bite her in the ass in a big way, or get Mac killed. Matty rubbed her tired eyes.

It had taken a lot to talk Jack into taking all four of them into coming, but everyone had to believe that they had left Mac alone. Matty had four teams of undercover agents watching the hospital. They were there to protect Mac, but also to catch those after Mac. It had been a risk, one she hoped Mac would survive. Matty did not look forward to facing the hellfire that Jack was going to unleash on her when he figured it out, and he would, but Matty had to take more than Mac's health into consideration. There had been enough breaches at Phoenix to last a lifetime and Matty had to know if it was an inside job or an external threat. Matty just hoped Mac hadn't gone off to do something stupid and slipped the protective net. Matty sighed walking over to Riley who was clicking through the ancient computers trying to drag out some semblance of information. Bozer knelt in front of the sound equipment. He turned a knob and a loud blare of whining static blurted across the room. Before Matty could yell at Bozer, a voice came through on one of the speakers. 

"Lincoln, this is Jefferson what's your status? Over."

"Jefferson, 13 is up and ready, over." Riley, Bozer, and Matty shared a look.

"Acknowledged, Lincoln, initiate when the package is delivered. Over." Matty frowned not liking that last part.

"Affirmative, Jefferson, package is in route will begin on time, over and out."

"That can't be good," Bozer said turning down the volume. Matty brought her phone up to her ear and began barking orders. Bozer frowned watching her. Riley caught his look and glanced at Matty.

"What's wrong?" Riley asked. Bozer shook his head.

"I know I'm new at this spy thing, but does something seem fishy to you?"

"Fishy?" Riley asked.

"Yeah, like boss lady knows more than she's letting on." Riley leaned back to the computers.

"Matty always more than she lets on." She muttered. "At least we know Mac was right about this 13 whatever maybe that 31 had nothing to do with him." Bozer sighed.

"I don't know what means what anymore. Do you think he…"Bozer swallowed the dry lump in his throat sopping up any words. Riley glanced at him and put a hand on his forearm. She knew that he was picturing a pale Mac staring down seven stories looking weak, pale, and broken. 

"No, Bozer I don't think, and neither should you. He was doing better today remember?" Bozer looked at her with tragic eyes.

"Yeah but that's before he went and stole the boss's phone so he could see that damned hellhole again to get all his memories back. We don't know how he was after that do we?" Riley nodded unable to refute what he said. Matty turned to face them.

"Riley, what are the coordinates where we found Mac?" Riley rattled them off by memory. Matty repeated them into the phone then stood listening. She smiled coldly. "Green light given, full tactical I want them taken down." She hung up and pocketed Bozer's phone. Bozer opened his mouth to complain but one glare from Matty shut his mouth with a click of teeth. "We just traced that to a compound outside of Ojeda, Oregon." Bozer grinned.

"So we got them!" Matty grinned back and nodded. Riley frowned. Bozer looked at her losing his smile.

"Why aren't you smiling?" He asked.

"I don't know if the Dent family sickos were operating out of there, why would they have come to Nor-Cal to set up the torture dungeon at a half-abandoned VA?"

"It was close to where they got Mac? You saw where his Jeep was found." Matty frowned in thought, she trusted her entire team's instincts.

"Maybe." Riley sighed obviously not convinced.

"Well getting them taken out is a good first step to figuring out what the hell happened to Mac," Matty said.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Jack stormed through the elevators onto the maternity ward like a cannonball. He stalked into Mac's room, empty. He paced down to the nurse's station. Connie ran up to intercept him.

"Have you heard anything?" She asked worried desperation thick in her voice. Jack breathed out a little of his fury and shook his head. "The police have cleared the hospital they are now checking the city." A man in a hospital security uniform came up to them. He scowled at Jack. Jack scowled back. The man had been one of the men who tried to keep Mac under control with a police baton.

"Did you find anything on video?" Jack asked, his eyes cold.

"The only cameras we have up here are at the elevators and there is no footage of Mr. MacGyver coming or going on them." Jack took a step back closing his eyes. That meant Mac could not have left on his own. He would not have gotten far without a wheelchair.

"Any sign of his wheelchair?" Jack asked rubbing his face. The security officer scoffed at him.

"It'd be with him." Jack forced himself to take a deep breath. He rubbed his eyes and forced his voice to be calm.

"And how would he get it out of here if he didn't go out the elevator?" The guy's mouth dropped open. Obviously, he hadn't thought of that.

"I saw a little boy on the elevator with a wheelchair." Connie said horror in her face, "It never occurred to me that little boy…" Jack put a hand on her shoulder.

"It's ok, no one would have thought of a kid like that, you didn't know. Was he blonde, curly hair?" Connie nodded. Jack pivoted pulling out his phone.

"Matty? He's been taken by the same guys who had him before, get Riley...yeah I'll wait." Jack pressed the button to the elevator and paced.

"Jack, I traced Matty's phone…"Riley came back on the line. "It's there."

"What's here?" Jack said confused.

"It's at the hospital, or at least outside the hospital by the back loading dock…" Jack hung up the phone interrupting Riley. He leaped into the elevator and when it stopped at the basement he flashed down the hallways coming out on the loading dock with his gun drawn. He found himself facing several guns pointing back at him.

After a second of confused recognition, they all limbered their guns. Jack stormed over to the Phoenix agent in charge.

"What are you doing here?" Jack growled. The man looked down and Jack could see he really didn't want to be facing Jack's wrath alone.

"Protection detail…" Jack studied him a long minute then leaned back whirling.

"Son of a bitch!" He snarled. His hands balled into fists. Matty, he should have known something was up, why would they ever have left Mac alone? And protection detail, my ass. Jack thought. Matty would have used a tac squad for that, which is what Jack wanted to do. "She used him as bait!" Jack roared turning back to the man. The man stepped back and Jack forced his rage under control with difficulty, he would save that for Matty.

"So what have we got?" Jack gritted. The man pointed. Jack could see a black van parked on the side of the road. His stomach dropped. His feet were running. Hands tried to hold him back he easily shoved them away. Jack breathed out, no dead Mac. Unfortunately, no living Mac either. Then Jack looked at the rubber floor and saw the pond of blood. He stepped back and leaned against the side of the van. This cannot be happening again!


	9. Chapter 9

"Ok, box up the evidence and process the scene," Matty said into the phone. She listened a minute. Riley and Bozer shared a worried glance. Matty's face fell and she nodded ending the call. They had returned to the hospital from the Bolan's and had set up a temporary HQ in a conference room on the ground floor. Matty turned to speak to her younger agents when the door exploded in. Matty had just a glance of Jack storming in before she found herself lifted by her lapels and slammed against the paneled door.

"Jack!" Riley came across the room and tried to pull Jack away from Matty. Jack easily shrugged her off, his attention focused on the smaller woman.

"What the hell!" Bozer ran across the room and pulled up when Jack turned and shot him a glare.

"Matty, I am trying to be rational about this," Jack said his face was red, bordering on purple, his hands shook. "But you best be explaining yourself. Why did you use Mac as bait?" Matty squirmed with discomfort from hanging from her jacket but she looked up at Jack calmly.

"What? What is he talking about?" Riley demanded. Bozer just stared at their boss, sad betrayal in his eyes.

"Jack there's more to this than you know," Matty said. Jack's hands balled into fists and he fought the urge to slam her against the wall. Instead, his nostrils flared and he dropped her, turning to step away. Matty landed awkwardly but kept her feet. She stood up and straightened her jacket. Jack turned around and crossed his arms across his chest. Matty faced the three with a deep breath.

"Well?" Jack growled.

"Our analysts monitoring the dark web found a site about MacGyver." Matty met each one's impatient gaze. "It has everything about him except his phone number, address, and location of Phoenix…" Matty turned away and began to pace.

"And?" Matty turned to face Jack.

"They have an ongoing auction, or raffle would be more accurate. Terrorists and others put a huge amount of money into an account in the Caymans. Whoever kills MacGyver and posts it on the site, gets the pot." Bozer turned away his face a shade paler. Riley closed her eyes and shook her head. Jack stared at Matty not budging.

"And?" Damn the man, Matty said to herself.

"We were going to set up a sting…"

"We?" Jack took an angry step forward. Matty actually felt her back run into the wall. She forced herself to meet Jack's hostile glare.

"Mac and I were going to read you in after Paris."

"But he got taken before you could, GOD DAMMIT, Matty do you know what you've done." Jack roared. Matty looked at the ground her guilt and sorrow were almost palpable.

"Yes, Jack I am aware. I had it covered. Protection was in place for Mac. All the exits were covered…"

"And look how well that turned out," Jack stalked forward and bent to stare in Matty's eyes. "If anything happens to him, even a hangnail, it's on you." Matty met his stare. Jack shook his head and paced across the room running his hand through his hair. "You know I protect Mac...That's why you had to get us all out of there. They wouldn't make an attempt if they knew we were there looking after him." Jack turned around. "So what was the plan? What happened?" Jack demanded. Matty breathed out and walked away from the three of them. She turned. 

"I don't know. All the exits were covered, agents were on every floor."

"Why didn't you wait until he could protect himself?" Bozer demanded, anger replacing the shock. Matty's bottom lip quivered.

"It was what Mac wanted." She said softly.

"What? Mac wasn't in his right mind, how could you sell him out like that?" Riley hissed.

"Before he went to Paris, there was chatter that something was up. He told me that no matter what happened to go through with the plan. It would be our only into the buy-in the website, then we could go after the bidders." Matty looked down and avoided Jack's angry gaze. His eyes narrowed.

"There's something else you're not telling us." Matty sighed.

"When we took the compound in Oregon we found this...it had been uploaded less than an hour ago." Matty turned to a large tablet, flipped through screens and set the tablet down. The other three stepped forward and gathered around. 

The video showed an unconscious MacGyver tied against a cross of pipes. One large one had obvious frost on it, the smaller one that crossed it had icicles hanging off of it. Mac's head was slumped down. The left side of his face was covered in blood, on first glance it looked like he was missing an eye, but Jack leaned forward and found that Mac's eye was merely coated with blood from a head wound. They could hear rasping breath that puffed in the air.

The worst thing about the picture was the vest lined with explosives hanging around his chest. On the corner of the screen was a digital clock ticking seconds, minutes, and hours. There were 2 hours, 7 minutes and 15 seconds. Jack looked at his watch.

"The countdown ends at 13:00." He murmured.

"One o'clock." Riley breathed. "I can hack and see where this feed is coming from." She said sitting down and yanking out her laptop, tapping furiously. Jack stared at his friend and sent Matty a dangerous look. Matty smiled but turned to look at Bozer who was leaning closer to the screen.

"What do you see Bozer?" Matty asked. Bozer frowned and enlarged the vest.

"Now, I don't know anything about explosives, but I do know Mac. Doesn't this look like something he'd make?" Jack leaned over. Across the center of Mac's chest was a small box of electronic chips with a small antenna on it and a spiderweb of wires coming out of it, weaving into the fabric of the vest itself.

"Looks like an antenna of some sort," Jack said.

"Remote detonator?" Jack frowned.

"No, that they could have easily made. We say enough of those made out of cell phones over in the Sandbox."

"Damnit!" Riley snarled. She looked up at the others, her shoulders slumped in defeat. "They have some serious tech protecting the site. It'll take more than two hours to crack this. Sorry."

"Ok, we'll have to do this the old-fashioned way," Jack said. His brow furrowed. "Ok, first how did they know Mac was here?"

"And how did they get him out without anyone seeing?" Matty added.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

When Jack returned to the Maternity unit, he was met by a tearful Connie, Heather, and Diane. He told them that they were getting close, Jack walked away wishing with all his heart that it was the truth. He went to the dining room where Bozer and Riley were leaning over her laptop watching the security footage focusing on the loading dock. They looked up. He shook his head. He walked around toward the elevators. Jack looked up at the camera and frowned. It was a pretty wide lens and covered most of the area not only in front of the elevator by a good part of the open area in front of it.

Jack frowned. At the end of the hall was an exit leading to the stairs. He went to it and opened it. A piercing alarm sounded. He looked up a camera covered the stairs. Jack ducked back into the hall. He looked up as his favorite security officer came running. Jack scowled at him. As he closed the door to the stairs, his eye was caught by a metal door flush with the wall, on it was a red sign reading "Maintenence". There were a small round inset and a lock.

The security was red-faced and about to go into a rant. Before he could get a word out, Jack stared him down.

"Open this." Jack could see the man's chin wag as he was gritting his teeth. "Please," Jack added insincerely. He swore he could hear a low growl coming from the man. Jack smiled sweetly belying the sharp edge in his voice. The guard unlocked the metal door.

Inside was a square room the size of a small apartment's living room. A loose lightbulb hung from a wire in the center of the room. Jack reached up and clicked it on. In the swinging light, the shadows looked like gremlins poking out, mocking him. On the far wall was a peg board holding a variety of tools ranging from drills and saws to wrenches and screwdrivers. The rest of the room had tall shelves made from 2x 4's lined with bits of electronics, broken fans and other things a handyman should have. Jack was about to leave when an idea occurred to him. He leaned in close to the shelves. Even though they were stained by greasy fingerprints, the shelf looked new. He went to ask the security guard, but the man had left.

Jack frowned. He closed the door, making sure it remain unlocked, and stepped out and looked at the rest of the hall. He didn't think that room should be a square. He returned to the dining room to talk to Riley and Bozer. Matty was downstairs sorting through the info they'd gotten from the raid. Jack was fine with that, he still hadn't burned off a fraction of the rage churning inside him. 

"Well, we found the kid on video, but there isn't much there," Riley said. Jack leaned over and watched a grainy black and white security video of a tall, thin boy pushing an empty wheelchair to the elevator. When he turned around, Riley took a screenshot and tried to enhance it.

"Cute kid." She muttered.

"Evil kid more like," Bozer said. Riley clicked a button and showed the elevator entrance that opened to the busy lobby. They watched as the boy took the car and parked it in line with a row of wheelchairs lined up in an alcove. The kid looked at him, smiled and took off skipping down the hallway to the cafeteria.

"The only entrance out there is to the side of the building, but there are no cameras over there," Riley said. Jack frowned.

"They already had him out in the van. They must have taken him where he is now then brought back the black van."

"Why would they do that?" Bozer asked.

"Maybe they planned on coming back for it?" Riley suggested. Jack told them what he had found. Riley turned and in seconds had the schematics of the building up, and it turned out Jack's hunch had been correct.

"This is freaky. Who would have secret tunnels in a hospital? Who would build them?" Bozer asked. Riley and Jack shared a surprised look. Jack grinned and playfully punched Bozer in the shoulder.

"You are a genius, Boze!" Riley said.

"I am? I mean of course, I am. How am I a genius?"

"The VA and secret tunnels here...it has to be a contractor…" Jack said, "Well let's go get them." Jack said, his smile turning lupine.

Riley was sure they were on the right track the minute she saw the shelves.

"These are built exactly like the bench where Mac was…" Riley's voice trailed off. Jack patted her on the shoulder. He started pushing and pulling everything. Bozer leaned forward and removed all of the tools. He got to one S-shaped wrench and frowned.

"They haven't made these things for years." He said. The others looked at him puzzled. He shrugged. "Dude, I live with Mac." Bozer went to remove it but it would not lift off, it turned. They all heard a click and the wall behind the tools popped open. Jack pulled out his Beretta and nodded. The other's fell into line behind him. They found themselves on steep narrow concrete stairs. They went down two floors then they faced the same kind of doorway they had entered through. Jack found the latch and pushed the wall in. It was completely dark. Jack stepped in and waved his hand in the air until he felt the string to a hanging lightbulb. They blinked in the sudden light. They were in a room identical to the one they'd left except the exit door was to the right instead of directly across from them. Jack found a small latch and pulled. The door opened to the stairs. Jack looked up, no cameras down here. He slowly crept down the stairs. Two flights down he stopped cold. On the stair was a smear of blood. He grimly glanced at the others and continued down.

The stairs ended in an outside door that led to a small oval lot that had painter's trucks, plumber's, maintenance, and refrigeration vans.

"That one," Riley said pointing at the refrigeration worker's van. On the side in red white and blue letters was "RAPM Heating and Cooling."

"Real American Patriot's Militia," Bozer said nodding. Jack scanned around them leading with his pistol. Across the lot near the painter's truck, two elderly men in dirty neon green shirts and stained white bibs were smoking. Jack tucked his Beretta away in the small of his back before they could see him. Jack then crossed to the van.

"I'll get the lock…" Riley began taking out a small file of lock picks Mac had made for her. Jack just smiled, lifted a piece of concrete and smashed out the passenger's window. "That'll work too."

Jack leaned in careful of the shattered safety glass. In the back of the van was a rack of tubes and piping and boxes of fittings and gaskets. He opened the glove box, but it was empty except for discarded McDonald's wrappers. He leaned over and dropped the visor on the driver's side. Jack grinned pulling a registration paper out. He handed it to Riley.

"We got an address." He declared.


	10. Chapter 10

The building they arrived at was a run down white squat brick building with a large open window. Through dirty white gauzy curtains, the trio could easily see a woman sitting in a small room with tattered chairs in front of her. She was on the phone and a tired old woman with two teenagers stood in front of her. Jack looked at the others as he put in his com. The others followed suit. Jack turned to look at Bozer.

"Boze, keep an eye out here. If you see dudes coming let us know." Bozer nodded and swallowed. His eyes were wide and Jack could see the nervousness in his eyes. "Don't worry Boze, we'll get 'em," Jack said as he drew his gun. Bozer managed a small smile and nodded. Jack looked at Riley who nodded and followed him.

Jack dashed to the side of the building. A small dirty alley led back to a dirt parking lot where several vans and pick-ups with the company's logo were parked in a haphazard disorder. Jack frowned ducking back.

"With a ramshackle old building, how does this company have so many trucks?" Riley asked. Jack nodded, he'd been thinking the same thing. He crept around to the back of the building leading with his Baretta in a two handed weaver grip. Jack paused when he heard voices. He ducked low and crept forward coming up to a garage door that opened into an open mechanics bay. There were two lifts for cars both receded into the floor. Tubing hung from the ceiling, tires and tools lined the walls.

Jack wasn't fooled. Everything was spotless and there were no spills or stains on the floor. He ducked back as five men came out from a door in the farthest inside wall. He glanced at Riley who crouched beside him. Jack risked another peek. Two of the men were tall and blond. Other than wearing different colors, one wearing desert camos one wearing jungle, they were identical. Jack smiled like a predator. By the size of the building and the piping that Mac had been tied to in the video, Jack doubted that Mac was here, but he'd just found the perfect two to ask. He looked at Riley who nodded.

Jack swung into the garage keeping low. He shot twice, two men dropped before the others could react. The twins dove behind a pair of metal tool boxes. Jack kept moving landing in a low roll. The third man pulled out a pistol before he could shoot with it, Jack shot him and got a bullseye. Jack slid under a work bench and ducked as the twins opened fire. Jack frowned. AK-47's? He remembered that the twins were brokers, probably got the guns either from or for insurgents.

Bullets pinging off the cement floor reminded Jack this was not the time to think, but act. He rolled closer to the wall. Bullets thudded into the wood of the bench. Whatever else you could say about these guys, they knew their way around carpenter's tools. He curled closer to the wall protecting his head as splinters flew from the frame. Jack looked up when he heard a motor rev followed by a scream. One of the twins backed out onto the floor, scooting backward toward the door. He stood up to run. Jack rolled back over and fired. He was aiming for the man's shoulder, but the glossy cement caused him to slip and the bullet went through his chest. Jack rolled out and was sliding toward the motor sound in seconds.

He drew up in shock. Riley stood pointing a rivet gun at the other twins head. The twin already had rivets sticking out of his arms and one in the back of his neck. Jack grinned and stood up.

"Nice job, Riles." Riley looked up and shrugged. Jack pulled a short extension cord off the table and quickly had the last twin trussed up.

"Guys, better get a move on. Our secretary looks like she's calling the po-po." Riley dashed over and through the door. Jack dragged the man behind them,

"Riley, we got to move, dammit." Jack hissed.

"You guys are so dead." The twin muttered. Jack smiled down and slammed a fist into the man's face. The man's head bounced off the cement and blood spurted from his nose.

"Don't worry dude, you'll get your time to talk," Jack said. The man looked up and Jack had to admit the guy's eyes were freaky, they were both blue, but one was slightly darker than the other.

"You won't get anything out of me! I'm ready to die for the cause." Jack leaned down.

"Good, then we both agree, I'm ready to kill you for the cause." The man's eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak and Jack lost his temper, a little. He lashed down with the butt of his Baretta. The man gave a subdued grunt then was out, blood rushing from a deep cut down the side of his face. Jack had to fight not to keep beating his ass. He could hear sirens in the distance. "Riley, we have to move!" He shouted.

Riley came running out from the office carrying a bundle of papers and laptop. She didn't pause but kept running back to the car. Jack smiled hauled the unconscious twin and followed her. Jack had to fold the guy a little to fit in the trunk. Jack didn't worry about being gentle. He slammed the lid down and climbed into the driver's seat and drove casually into traffic. He knew it wouldn't be long before the cops would find them, they had to get a new ride and question their prisoner...Jack smiled looking forward to that. He looked back at Riley in the rearview mirror. She was already tapping on her laptop.

"Turn right, down this alley." She said. Jack felt a surge of pride. Riley was turning into a mighty fine agent. "Over to the left here." Jack saw a rusty fence surrounding the back lot of an abandoned warehouse. He pulled in. They kicked up a huge cloud of dust. Jack squinted through it and pulled in between two huge piles of gravel. The car slithered to a halt. Jack turned to the others.

"Bozer, you help Riley figure out where Mac is. I'm going to ask our friend." His tone of voice made it clear exactly what questioning meant. Bozer shot Riley a worried look. She was typing on the laptop they had taken from RAPM. She didn't look up or seemed bothered by it. Bozer closed his eyes and shook his head, reminding him that Mac's life was on the line. He reached over and grabbed some of the papers.

Most of the papers were actual business receipts and service orders. Then there was a series of maps showing different parts of the country. He looked closer and saw buildings marked off. Bozer felt his heart thud. With Mac, he counted 13 sites total. Bozer showed Riley what he found.

"Why are they so obsessed with the number 13?" Bozer asked, not really expecting an answer. Riley looked up reading from the screen.

"It's all about the original 13 colonies, evidently these creeps think that only original settlers have a right to call themselves 'real Americans,'" Riley frowned,"I bet the Native Americans have something to say about that." She looked up. "I got a list of cells all across the countries, but no idea of where they have Mac."

"It has to be local, right?" Bozer said, "I mean the kid wasn't with them and they were going to go back and pick up that black van of theirs, right?"

"Probably to get out of town with." Riley agreed. Bozer threw the papers on his lap huffing in frustration.

"I got nothing, I can tell you where they're going to hit in Chicago, but nothing about here." Riley glanced over to where Jack had taken the remaining twin. They were out of sight. Riley swallowed, not wanting to think about what he was having to do to get information.

"It's up to Jack now." She said, her chin tight with tension.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Jack slammed the blond man down in the gravel that sloped flat from the pile beside them. He crossed his arms and looked down at the man curiously. Slowly Jack pulled his yellow lensed aviator glasses off and folded them and put them in the inner pocket of his leather jacket.

"Ok, here's what's gonna happen…" Jack paused. "What's your name again?" The man glared up, blood puffing from his nose from his breath. Jack nodded and lashed out catching the man across the chin. He heard a click but didn't think it was the man's jaw breaking. Not that that would matter, he'd worked around broken jaws before. "Ok, I'll call you asshat, how does that sound. Now normally I'd do the threatening of violence intimidation yadda, yadda, yadda...but I'm on the clock so I'll ask nicely, once. Where is MacGyver?" The man spewed blood at Jack who nodded. He pulled out his gun and pointed it at asshat.

"Go ahead, I'm not afraid to die." The man said. His quivering voice belied his false bravado. Jack shrugged and shot the man in the kneecap. The man howled clutching at his leg. "You can't do this!" He whined. Jack smiled and leaned down, the gun held casually in his hand.

"You know asshat, cowards like you aren't afraid to die until the dying starts. Now I've seen what you did to Mac and I have to give you fair warning, he is my best friend, more of a brother really. You are going to die here, but how quickly and how full of holes is up to you. Where is he?" The man looked at Jack's cold eyes with terrified ones. He sneered in defiance. Jack sighed. "Ok." and shot the man's other kneecap. "Where is he?" Jack asked, his voice soft like the hiss of a striking cobra.

"The Chandler building." The man yelped, his face was white and waxy. Jack stood up smiling and automatically refilled his Baretta as he turned and walked back to the car. The man behind him screamed, "You can't leave me here…" Jack took out his shades unfolded them and put them on, sliding his Baretta in the halter at the back of his waist. He climbed into the car and drove away without looking back.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

They had 15 minutes 13 seconds to find Mac. Jack frowned as they ran into the high rise Chandler building. It was huge, close to 100 stories.

"How are we going to find Mac?" Bozer said, despair entering his voice.

"He was tied to a refrigeration unit," Jack said.

"And it had to have been recently installed or fixed," Riley said as she tapped her laptop keyboard, keeping stride with the others. "Back of the building, down a floor, in the basement." Jack nodded and pushed through the glass doors and milling suits in the lobby. He had a vague impression of brown marble, gold, and red as he pushed through the metal detector. A security guard went to stop him. Jack didn't slow punching the man in the face, hard enough to put him down.

"Sorry bro." He called out as he ran in. Other security guards came out and swarmed them. Jack hesitated frowning. He really didn't want to shoot anyone but in a few minutes, everyone was going to die with Mac. Riley closed her laptop and lifted her hands. She glanced over her shoulder.

"I got this." She said. Jack nodded and took off at a sprint, Bozer huffing at his heels. Luckily the builders were straightforward kind of guys. The path was simple to navigate and the large stone halls easily gave Jack and Bozer room to dodge around slower, surprised people easily. Jack was almost out of breath and Bozer was wheezing as they found the stairs and ran down them Jack checked his watch. 5 minutes 45 seconds.

Unlike the floors above the basement was a tangled mess of catwalks machinery and piping. Jack almost screamed in frustration as he scanned the huge area desperately.

"There." Bozer panted. Jack saw the blonde kid bouncing a ball against the grated floor of a catwalk. He sat in a black office chair in front of an open laptop. Behind him, Mac hung still in the same position as he had been on the video. Adrenaline pumped through Jack's veins as he powered up the stairs. The kid looked up at him surprised. Instead of looking frightened, he smiled and pulled out a crowbar.

"What the fuck?" Jack murmured. He easily grabbed the crowbar and slapped the kid to the ground. He stepped over to the computer. On it was the countdown. Jack was relieved to see there was a prompt to enter a belay code. He couldn't find anything. He turned to Mac. Jack let out a distressed breath. Mac was cool to the touch. "No, no, no… that is not acceptable." He gritted. He carefully lifted Mac's head wincing at the bruising and blood. Mac's lips were tinged with gray. He wasn't shivering. Not good. Jack tapped his face. No response. Jack glanced over 2 minutes 12 seconds.

"I'm so sorry, bud." Jack groaned. He hauled his fist back and hit Mac hard in the gut. Air gushed from Mac's lungs. He fought to suck more in. His eyes painfully fluttered open. Jack grabbed him by the cheeks and met his confused gaze. "Mac, c'mon man. What is the code to cancel these vests." Mac's eyes sagged. Jack shook him hard and winced as he accidentally bounced his friend's head off the pipe he was tied to. Mac's eyes opened and he hissed. Jack again raised his face. Mac seemed to focus, well not focus on him, but at least in Jack's general direction. "C'mon, bud. A lot of lives are on the line." Mac blinked, but couldn't focus more.

"13 and 31, Mac," Bozer said at Jack's elbow. Mac slowly looked in Bozer's direction.

"Emirp…" Mac whispered. Jack looked over to Bozer who shook his head. Mac's eyes again drooped. Jack shook him. Mac roused. "13, 17,31, 37,71, 73…" Mac's eyes closed and he was out. Jack looked over at Bozer who was already typing. They waited as the timer counted down the last 25 seconds. Jack heard a buzz and looked down. The lights went off on the vest Mac was wearing. The counter reached zero and...nothing happened. Jack and Bozer both gasped then looked at each other grinning.

Jack turned to cut the ropes holding Mac up. He half turned at a yell from Bozer. The kid had woken up and slammed Bozer in the thigh with his crowbar. Bozer grabbed the crowbar and shook it out of the kid's hand. Bozer grabbed the kid by the back neck of his shirt and hauled him over to Jack. Jack handed over the rope from Mac's left arm. Dodging kicks, bites, and punches, Bozer managed to hog-tie the kid.

"Stay," Bozer yelled tossing the crowbar off the catwalk. He limped over to Jack and took Jack's knife. Jack supported Mac as Bozer sawed through the ropes. Mac fell forward and Jack caught him on his shoulder, holding him. After he was free, Jack grunted and stepped back easing Mac to the catwalk's grating. Jack reached out and felt Mac's pulse. There was one but it was dangerously low. Jack glanced at Bozer who nodded and took off at a sprint. Jack looked at the vest with the explosives having no idea how to cut it off without setting off the explosives. Luckily Mac was skinny. Jack gently managed to slide the younger man's arms through the vest, he lifted Mac up and slid it over his head. Jack pulled the younger man in close. The kid's head with blood dried bristle fell on Jack's shoulder.

"I got ya, bud, I got ya," Jack whispered. There was no response. Jack laid Mac back shimmied out of his own coat and wrapped his partner in it. He rubbed Mac's arms and legs as he held him close, trying to give him some sort of heat. He breathed deep feeling the familiar if slow heart beat in Mac's neck. "You have got to stop doing this," Jack whispered slowly.

It took fifteen minutes for a group of cops, paramedics and Phoenix agents to arrive led by Bozer and Riley. They were all talking to Jack, but Jack tuned them out focusing instead on the unmoving form of his partner. The paramedics wrapped him in foil blankets, started an IV, put him on oxygen and a heart monitor. The rhythm was slow but regular. The paramedics were trying to figure out how to get him down to the floor of the basement. Without a word, Jack bent and gently gathered Mac into his arms. The surprised medics scrambled to gather their gear and trailed Jack being careful to keep the lines and cords untangled. Jack gently laid Mac on the stretcher and stayed by his side as they wheeled him out. Mac hadn't moved. Jack wasn't sure if the paramedics said he could go or not, Jack just climbed in any way. He was ignored as one jumped into the driver's seat of the ambulance and they started skidding away sirens on full blast.

As he sat watching the other one call out numbers to the driver who relayed them to a radio. Jack rubbed his face. His adrenaline was wearing off and he was exhausted. He jumped as he felt a blanket being wrapped around him. He hadn't even noticed he'd been shivering. The paramedic held onto his shoulder and his mouth were moving, but Jack couldn't make out any words. He tried to tell the man to focus on Mac, but his energy faded and took the world with it.


	11. Chapter 11

Jack opened his eyes and bolted upright. He felt a sense that time had passed, more than he had planned. Taking in his surroundings he felt his stomach drop. He was in a room at Phoenix medical. He yawned and wiped his eyes as he slid to the side of the bed and sat up. He frowned finding himself in a hospital gown.

"What the hell?" He asked. There was a brief knock-a warning knock, not a request to enter knock that could only mean medical staff. The door swung open to reveal the red headed pixie featured head nurse of Phoenix medical-Sally Weathers.

"I was just coming to wake you up. How do you feel, Jack?" Sally asked. She held Jack's backup go bag. He stood up and stalked toward her. 

"How long have I been out? What did you do? Where is Mac?" Sally put up a hand, Jack didn't like how serious her face was.

"You've been out for 48 hours, we gave you a sedative to help you sleep. You were exhausted. Mac…" Sally's eyes dropped and she shook her head. "Mac is going to be fine, physically. He only woke up about an hour ago himself."

"What do you mean physically?" Jack dug out a set of black jeans and t-shirt and pulled into them as quickly as he could.

"He'd received a significant blow to the head, and with the added trauma...Jack, he isn't doing well."

"Well, he'll be better now." Jack declared slamming his feet into his boots. Sally put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's going to take time, Jack." She cautioned. Jack frowned. Sally's eyes were tinged with tears and sadness. Jack stood up and put an arm on her shoulder.

"We'll put him back together, Sally, no matter how long it takes, right?" She smiled and nodded.

"He's in room 6, Bozer and Riley are in there now." Jack nodded and left. Sadly, Jack knew his way around medical more than he ever wanted to. He turned the corner and stopped seeing Dr. Mendez, the Director and Matty in conversation just past Mac's room. Jack leaned back and listened intently.

"Matty, you have to face facts, we may need to find a replacement for MacGyver." The Director said. Jack thought his teeth would break from gnashing them together.

"I think it's too early to do something that drastic." Dr. Mendez said in his soft hypnotic tones.

"I'm not going to replace MacGyver because he went through hell and can't just flip up out of it!" Matty said, her voice hot. "And as for a replacement, there is none. No one can do what Mac can do and you know it."

"I'm just saying it's highly unlikely that anyone after what he's been through could recover. I'm not blaming Mac, hell he's given everything for this organization. I'm just saying we have to be realistic. He's broken…" Before Jack could storm around the corner, he heard Matty in what Jack called her Mama-bitch voice.

"You listen to me! We are not giving up on MacGyver, we aren't using him then tossing him away like a chew toy. We are going to do whatever it takes to bring him back to operational, not for our sake, but for his. We owe him this and more, and if you have a problem with that I can have my resignation letter on your desk in thirty minutes!" Jack raised his eyebrows. He could hear hemming and hawing.

"Well...as Dr. Mendez said it is too soon to tell...you let me know if you need anything…" The Director sputtered.

"I'll do that," Matty said. The two men turned and Jack leaned back as they passed him. Dr. Mendez paused and nodded at Jack.

"I'll be back to check on him later." Jack nodded. Jack leaned back and closed his eyes ducking his head. Matty came around the corner and paused looking up at Jack. She looked tired and more than a little pissed off. She glared at Jack, looked down and was going to pass him.

"Matty…" Jack said. She turned, braced for another conflict, "Matty, you know how I feel about what you did, but what you did save a lot of lives...maybe don't do it alone with the kid next time? You know he ain't really smart about taking care of himself." Matty smiled at the peace offering.

"I'll take your suggestion into consideration, Dalton." Jack managed a small smile. Matty nodded and continued walking down the hall. Her back wasn't so stiff. Jack took a deep breath and braced himself to face the worst, whatever that may be.

"...so then this hoodlum comes at me with a crowbar, right? I took him down and hog-tied him, Mac! A cowboy couldn't have done better." Bozer crowed.

"Of course, he isn't telling you that this 'hoodlum' was all of 10 years old," Riley said. There was an awkward pause then they continued on in the same forced cheerful tone. Jack gritted his teeth. No reply from Mac, not good. Jack swept into the room and paused in midstep taking in the scene. Riley and Jack were sitting on the bed. Bozer was cross-legged, his hands shaping the air as he enthusiastically started off another story. Riley looked up relief in her eyes. Across from them laying curled up on his side in a huge recliner, Mac sat staring ahead, his face vacant. He held a fat pillow against him and his head was braced on another one. A blanket covered him except for his feet.

The souls of his feet were a dark pink with mottled areas of purple. The stitches all looked intact. Considering what they've been through. Jack thought the feet didn't look bad. The left side of Mac's face was swollen and a thick blue-black, a long crescent of stitches ran from over his ear to his eyebrow. Patches of his scalp were bare and reddened. His partner didn't show any reaction when Jack knelt down face to face with him. 

"Well hey, bud. You are a sight for sore eyes." Jack said softly. Mac's eyes flicked up then fell back to their vacant stare. Jack reached over and took Mac's hand relieved to find it warm. Mac's hand remained limp. "Don't want to talk right now? That's ok, kid. You just rest up, we're all going to be here with you when you're ready." Jack thought he saw the blue eyes flick up again, but he wasn't sure. At least they weren't dilated or mismatched.

"Here Jack," Riley said as she slid a chair over. Since Phoenix didn't rely on the same accounts as a hospital, they had the luxury of having padded bedside chairs. Jack smiled his thanks and scraped it closer. He pulled it alongside Mac's recliner, careful not to block Mac's view of Bozer as the man launched into another story. Jack absently reached out and gently stroked Mac's forearm.

Jack chased a yawning Riley and Bozer out about an hour later. They had been awake staying with Mac while Jack rested. Jack frowned more than a little pissed off that Mac had been sitting off in whatever corner of his brain he'd retreated to without Jack. Rationally Jack knew it was unfair to think he could have stopped Mac from going catatonic, but the guilt he felt wasn't really rational.

Sally came in not bothering to knock. Jack looked up. She held a square medical kit and a small cup of crushed pills. She also had a packet of strawberry jelly. Jack raised an eyebrow. Sally smiled and set them on an over-bed table. Jack scooted his chair out of the way and crossed to the bed. Sally knelt in front of Mac.

"Hey, sweetie, time to take your meds and I have to take the stitches out of your feet, ok?" Mac's eyes flashed to her face then slid back into the distance again. His face remained vacant. Sally looked up at Jack, "Give me a hand." She said. Jack nodded. They rolled Mac onto his back and slid him upright in the chair, resting his head on a pillow keeping his sore left side up. Jack didn't like how still his friend was.

Sally handed him the small cup of pill bits mixed in with the jelly. Jack wrinkled his nose and scowled at her.

"You are an evil elf." Sally smiled and shrugged. Jack pulled his chair back over to Mac's side and scooped up the jelly in a spoon. When he turned to face Mac, he was pleased to see Mac looking at him. "I'm sure this is going to taste like shit, bud. But this murderous nurse insists it's important." Jack leaned forward conspiratorily, "and we really don't want her pissed do we?" Mac's brow furrowed as if he were puzzled. Jack heard a gasp and looked down at Sally. She was grinning.

"That's the most reaction we've gotten from him." She said. Jack was pleased. He looked back into Mac's eyes and could see his focus slipping.

"Uh-uh, bud, open up the hangar for the airplane." Mac dutifully took the spoonful, slowly chewed and swallowed. His eyes stayed on Jack's face. "Good job, kid." Jack encouraged. Mac blinked slowly, his eyes sliding back into vacancy. "Don't worry, buddy, I'll be here when you come back," Jack said softly reaching out to wipe a bit of jelly from Mac's chin. Jack turned back to Sally. She nodded and knelt at Mac's feet.

"Time to get these last stitches out, Mac. Honestly, I'm surprised you haven't torn them out already. You must have really pissed someone off, I count a hundred on each floor." Sally said. She shifted her gaze to Jack who nodded and leaned closer to his partner. He took both of Mac's hands in his. Sally put on gloves then carefully pulled open the plastic container. As she reached in for a wet swab of betadine and scissors, Jack turned around to face Mac, deciding he really didn't want to see what the woman was doing. He'd had enough stitches to know how much they can sting. Mac's eyes slowly closed and Mac swallowed.

"It's ok, buddy, I'm right here," Jack said softly. Mac's fingers twitched a couple of times, but there was no other reaction. Jack gently squeezed the blonde's hands anyway and kept up a soft flood of words. Jack told Mac stories he'd heard as a kid, stories about Texas and just about anything else that popped into his head. About 90 minutes later, it was done. Jack looked down as Sally gently wrapped Mac's feet. She slipped off her gloves and threw them and the used kit into the trash. She smiled, leaned over Mac and gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"I'll leave you two boys to gossip," Sally looked over to Jack, "Or maybe you'd rather lie down awhile and watch TV, there's a James Bond marathon going on." Jack nodded his thanks. Sally patted Jack's arm then left, closing the door after her. Jack rolled the recliner beside the bed, lowered the rails and gently lifted Mac into bed. He arranged him comfortably and wrapped him in the blankets. Jack slid off his boots and laid next to Mac. He reached over and rolled his partner so his head rested on Jack's chest. Jack pulled him closer and absently rubbed Mac's back as he flicked on the TV. They were in the middle of _Moonraker_ Jack laughed.

"It's one of your faves, Mac, the one where they're on the moon." Mac hated this movie because of everything it got completely wrong about science. Jack liked it for the same reasons any red-blooded heterosexual male does-Holly Goodhead played by Lois Chiles. Jack also liked Roger Moore, but not as much as Sean Connery. Jack sighed and leaned his cheek against the top of Mac's head. "It's ok, kid, I got you however long it takes." He murmured.


	12. Chapter 12

Jack was awake and alert at the first whimper. He looked down at Mac. The younger man's hands twitched followed by another moan. Jack could see his eyes moving under his eyelids. Mac's body spasmed and he murmured something Jack couldn't make out. Jack gently nudged Mac. 

"Hey, bud. Wake up." He said. Mac gave a gasp and his body jumped, his breathing becoming fast. Jack shook him a little harder. Mac's body stilled and his eyes slowly opened. His gaze moved around him, then settled on Jack's face. Mac's forehead creased in confusion. "Hey, kid. You were just having a nightmare. You're ok." Jack said. Mac closed his eyes and Jack swore he felt his partner snug in closer. Jack rubbed Mac's back until his breathing evened out. Jack sighed. Was Mac coming back or was he slipping even farther away?

Sally was back in the morning and the two of them managed to get Mac into a shower. Jack winced seeing more layers of bruising on Mac's already blotched skin. Mac remained unmoving and his face blank even when they cleaned his feet. The suture sites around his feet looked like they were healing well. The sight of his skin grafts also was healing nicely. Jack dried off the kid and slid him into a hospital gown. He told Sally about Mac's nightmare. She thought it was a good sign. Jack lifted Mac back to the recliner and propped him up with pillows and covered him with a blanket.

Sally brought in a tray. Jack wrinkled his nose. There were several small bowls of pureed food that looked like baby food. Sally sighed.

"Until he's more awake, we have to be careful of choking. It still tastes the same." Jack shook his head and set up on the bedside table. Sally left him to it.

"I don't know about you, Mac, but if anything is going to snap you out of it this will do it," Jack said. He looked up to see Mac's eyes focused on him. Two streams of tears were seeping out of his eyes. His face was blank, but Jack could almost physically feel Mac's pain. It was like he was silently screaming. Jack shook that disturbing image away. "Hey, hey, it's ok buddy, you'll come back when you're ready. I know how much you hate needing help and this must be a nightmare, but it'll get better. Just let yourself heal up, ok?" Jack gently took the napkin from the tray and wiped away Mac's tears. Mac blinked and his eyes slid into the distance again. "Ok, the evil elf says this will taste the same, but she has been known to lie before." Jack offered the spoon and Mac automatically ate, his eyes slowly focusing on Jack. Jack was happy, Mac managed to eat half of the tray. His eyes sunk shut and he fell into a relaxed sleep.

Jack went out into the hallway and leaned against the wall rubbing his face. He stared at his feet and took a deep breath. He looked up as Dr. Mendez strolled closer. Jack told him about the nightmare and breakfast. Dr. Mendez smiled.

"He's eating better than he normally does." He explained. Jack found himself chuckling. He hadn't looked at it like that before, maybe he finally had his chance to fatten the kid up.

"How is he doing, really?" Jack asked. Dr. Mendez sighed.

"I think he is doing well, considering what he's been through…"

"But?" Jack prompted standing up.

"But if he remains like this more than a few more days, we'll have to start looking at full-time care, possibly at a nursing facility." The man sighed. Jack stood up, his eyes flashing.

"No, he isn't going to get put away. I'll take care of him if it comes to that." Dr. Mendez studied him.

"I know you want to help him but…"

"No, buts, doc." Jack gritted. The doctor nodded.

"Well, we aren't there yet, and Mac has surprised me so many times…" The man said. Jack smiled.

"And you don't know the half of it."

The next two days passed with basically the same routine. Bozer brought in audio tapes by Neil Degrasse Tyson, Riley brought in a stack of scientific journals and research papers she pulled off the internet which she sat and read allowing Jack to nap in the bed while Mac was stretched out in the recliner. It might have been his imagination, but he swore Mac was able to hold focus longer. At night, the nightmares returned and Mac began to react more strongly to them, one night even saying 'no' in a hushed whisper. While he hated it, that one word gave Jack more hope than anything.

The third day Jack was in the hallway giving Dr. Mendez and Matty an update when they heard a loud thump. Jack was first in the room and froze in shock. Jack grinned. Mac had climbed out of the recliner and taken two steps to the middle of the floor before his legs gave out. He was on his knees in the middle of the room. As Jack walked in, Mac turned his head and looked up at Jack, a puzzled frown on his face.

"Well, hell, you just had to wait until I was out of the room to try getting up didn't you," Jack said. Mac didn't answer but kept his focus on Jack. He began to sag forward. Jack easily caught him and lifted him to the side of the bed. Mac closed his eyes exhausted. Jack looked up at the others who were grinning back at him.

The next few days showed improvement no one expected. Jack was able to take Mac for short walks supporting him with an arm across Jack's shoulder and around Mac's waist. Mac turned to people talking to him and was able to focus on them. He was able to sit up and feed himself solid food. Still, he would stop and drift off into a blank distance. Finally, Dr. Mendez allowed Mac to go home.

Jack looked over at Mac as he drove home. He played soothing country music not surprised Mac didn't respond. Mac stared out the window but appeared to be watching the passing scenery instead of drifting away. Jack took the win. As he helped Mac into his house, Jack noticed Mac was shaking. He looked over and saw Mac's eyes widened and tears running down his cheeks. Jack had no way of telling if they were happy tears or something else.

"It's ok, kid. You're home." Mac turned to look at him, and Jack swore he saw the smallest twitch of a smile. Jack nodded and helped Mac into the house. Bozer and Riley were already there. The couch was set up with blankets and pillows. The smell of Bozer's home cooked fried chicken filled the room. Riley and Bozer both came up and helped Jack get Mac ensconced on the couch. Mac's eyes flicked back and forth, then he closed his eyes relaxing into a deep sleep. The three couldn't stop grinning at each other relieved to have Mac home.

Jack slept on the other couch. Riley and Bozer still went to Phoenix tracking down all of the bidders on the website. They learned that among two of the bidders were Murdoc and Sarana Lupia. Jack ground his teeth. He'd heard rumors that the bitch they had tangled with in Sierre Leone was still alive. Jack wouldn't be surprised if some day Murdoc and her hooked up. Jack shuddered at the thought although they would be the perfect couple each sicker than the other. Jack chose to worry about that later, if and when it happened. Matty, Dr. Mendez, and Sally came over every day, Sally staying to help Jack get Mac in the shower or however she could. Jack knew she did that only because Mac was her favorite. Jack was delighted to see Mac return a scowl to his emotional repertoire in her presence. Sally just laughed and kept on doing what she was doing.

Unfortunately, as Mac came back more and more his nightmares got worse. One night Mac gave out a loud shout. Jack was awake. Mac was sitting up shaking, staring into a dark place, tears rolling down his face. Jack stood up and Mac turned to face him.

"J..k." He whispered. Jack paused, not sure he'd heard it. Mac held up a shaking hand. Jack didn't need any encouragement. He sat beside Mac who leaned over and wrapped Jack in a weak embrace. Jack returned a much stronger one.

"There you are, buddy." He said softly feeling his own face grow wet. Mac was more alert, saying their names and a word or two, but he would drift off into the distance. One night Jack woke up and his heart thudded desperately in his chest. Mac was gone. Jack was up and searching before he was really awake. He breathed out in relief finding Mac with damp hair sitting out on the deck looking down at the city. Jack realized Mac was breathing hard and wore different clothes. He'd gotten up took a shower then came outside. Jack smiled. He sat down in the other chair. Mac didn't look over he stared at Los Angeles, his face calm but not blank.

"Couldn't sleep?" Jack asked. Mac shook his head. Jack nodded and leaned back. "Nice night." He offered. Mac didn't answer. He also leaned back and his eyes closed as he drifted into sleep. Jack watched him. The bruising was almost gone, his hair was mostly grown back, and he no longer flinched every time his feet were touched. Jack looked up at the few stars visible over the lights of Los Angeles. "Thank you." He said softly.

After that, Mac would start pacing the house absently when he woke up at night, or walk out to the deck. His three teammates would take turns walking with him up into the hills above his house. He began to answer a question but would stop look lost and drift off into the distance. The added activity helped bleed off the anxiousness but didn't help him sleep any better. He began to sleep in his room again, closing the door to the others. When he was asleep, Jack would sneak the door open a crack as he would listen for nightmares. Mac also began to pull back from the physical need for comfort. Jack was a bit sad but knew it was another step of Mac returning to himself.

A full-throated scream woke Jack and Bozer both up. Bozer stood at the door as Jack went in. Mac was drenched in sweat and visibly shivering. He jumped when Jack sat down beside him. Mac's breathing was fast almost to the point of hyperventilating. He flinched and ducked away when Jack reached out a comforting hand. Mac turned away, his eyes on the floor.

"What's up, Mac?" Jack asked. To his surprise, Mac turned around fury burning in his eyes. He howled and picked up the lamp beside his bed and threw it at the wall, he slammed the table it was on over then stood up and began to punch the wall. Jack was up beside him and grabbed him by his waist. Dragging him back to bed. Jack shot a glance over to Bozer who nodded and left shutting the door behind him as he went to call Dr. Mendez. Jack winced as he got an elbow in his shoulder. He held onto Mac who fought with blind rage, striking anything he could reach, unfortunately including Jack.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Jack said. He might as well have been trying to stop a tornado. Jack felt himself sweating as he tried to wrangle the thirteen arms and twenty legs Mac seemed to suddenly have. Jack was a little relieved it was blind anger, if Mac had been this angry and had used his self-defense training, Jack really wasn't sure he would have won that fight. After an eternity, Bozer came running in with a panting Dr. Mendez behind him. The man must have driven like a bat out of hell to get there that fast, Jack thought. Bozer joined Jack in holding Mac down as the doc gave him a shot in his abdomen. Mac glared at him and focused his fury on the doc almost throwing Jack and Bozer off the bed as he tried to lash out and go after the man. Seeing this, Dr. Mendez left the room.

Mac slowly began to slow down, his eyes blinking slower. Bozer and Jack released him in stages until Mac slumped his eyes closed. Jack took a deep breath and looked at Bozer whose eyes were wide and had a little fear.

"Pent up anger." Bozer breathed. Jack nodded helping Bozer straighten Mac and tuck him under the covers. Bozer cleaned up the mess as Jack went to get Mendez. The doctor came in and sat on the edge of the bed. He examined Mac's fists which were beginning to swell and had scrapes on his knuckles.

"I don't think he broke anything." the doc offered. He leaned forward and lifted Mac's eyelids studying his pupils and listened to his chest with a stethoscope. He replaced the covers and led the other men out to the living room, leaving the door open a crack. The doc ran his hand through his thinning hair. "I think we're seeing the emotional fallout from everything. He went catatonic to escape these feelings, but now…"

"Now they're coming out in full force." The doc nodded. Jack sighed and sat down yawning. "How long will he be out of it?"

"With MacGyver? Who knows. I'll leave some sedatives here both pills and injectables, do you know how to give shots?"

"I do." Bozer offered. Jack looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "What? I use to take care of my aunt, she had diabetes." The doctor sat him down and began to go over exactly what Bozer needed to know. Jack stood up and returned to Mac's room, throwing dirty clothes on the floor so he had a space to sit on a chair beside the bed. Jack looked down at the pile of dirty clothes. Mac normally would have cleaned and folded them immediately, but they had gone to Paris without notice. Jack found the little bit of ordinary disorder jarring. After all that had happened over the past month, it almost felt like it was a lifetime ago. Jack sighed and rested his elbows on his knees. He rested his head in his hands feeling worn out.

"Jack." The word was so soft Jack thought he was imagining it. When he looked up Mac was looking at him sleepily. Jack leaned forward and took Mac's hand. It weakly squeezed back. "'M sorry." Mac slurred.

"Sorry? For what?" Jack asked. Mac looked away. Jack scooted closer and shook his shoulder until the drowsy eyes returned to meet Jack's. It was too dark to see, but Jack thought he saw the glitter of tears. "Hey, for what?" Mac's lip trembled. He frowned trying to pull words out of his foggy brain.

"Hurt…" Mac began weakly. Jack waited. "You always stay...you shouldn't…" Mac trailed off. He blinked slowly. "...weak." When it seemed Mac was done speaking, Jack shook his head.

"Sometimes you are an idiot, you know that?" Jack said, his voice a little harsher than he intended. Mac's eyes skittered down and he started to turn his head away. Jack reached over and gently turned his partner's face back towards him. "I don't know how to get this through you thick skull. We. Are. Family. I know you might not really get what that means, as yours was kinda a mess, but let me explain it. We don't give up on each other-ever! We are always there to help each other no matter what. Whether I have to duck from the bombs you set off, have to go chasing you all over hell and gone, hold you after a nightmare or take a slug or two-which I'm going to totally pay you back for by the way, I will never go away or hate you or whatever you're afraid I'm going to do. And Riley, Bozer...Matty? All feel the same way, just like you would if any one of us were in that bed, got it?" Mac studied his face a long minute, then his mouth quirked up in a smile Jack had thought long gone. Mac's face then turned sad and he pulled his hand away from Jack's. Jack frowned not liking the change.

"I was scared…" Mac said softly. "It hurt and never stopped…" Mac began to shake. Jack pulled the covers over him and waited. Mac's eyes took longer to open. "I...was lost…" Mac looked up at Jack naked pain in his blue eyes. "I feel like...I'm...drowning...no boat…" Jack decided enough was enough. He slid out of his boots and repositioned Mac so he was resting in the crook of Jack's arm. Mac was too sedated to complain, and Jack soon felt him relax and the shivers slow.

"Everything ok?" Bozer asked poking his head in. Jack wondered if he'd been outside the door listening.

"Peachy keen." Jack sighed. Bozer's smile gleamed in the near darkness.

"Nothing like a good cuddle puddle." He said. Jack smiled absently running his hand over Mac's back.

"You got that right."

"If you need anything, I'm next door," Bozer added. Jack looked up seriously.

"Hey, Boze?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, man." Bozer nodded and closed the door on his way out.


	13. Chapter 13

Mac stared at his nemesis, his mouth dry, his pulse ticking along like a galloping horse. Blank white circles stared back, almost glowing in the early morning sun. It had taken Mac a week of attempts, but today would be the day he decided. The jeep seemed to mock him with a cruel smile. Mac almost turned back, again.

It had taken him two weeks to wean Jack down to two visits a day and only 25 phone calls. Riley had finally cracked into the website and managed to get a lot of data for them to sift through as well as a couple addresses to kick in doors. Mac had tried to keep busy, he'd updated his bike's engine again, he'd made a paperclip model of the solar system, including space station MIR and Hubble telescope and it hung across the ceiling of his room, he'd worked up to running again although his feet were still sore, he felt like he was running on blisters, he'd cleaned everything in the house several times, he'd made a blanket warmer but needed more blankets to test it on, he hadn't quite gotten the heating coils to hold at the right temperature yet, and he'd weather-stained the deck.

Mac knew he was driving his friends insane, more than usual anyway, but they didn't understand, he had to get back out there, had to chase the people that had done all this, had to. Otherwise, he could feel the black tar of terror rise and feel himself drift away, and Mac was afraid if that happened, he'd never come back again. Today he had demanded Jack to take him to Phoenix, Jack hadn't outright laughed, quite. Mac had tried to intimidate Bozer and even begged Riley, but they were all adamant he wasn't up to it yet. How could they know that when he didn't?

So Mac had stopped asking, cajoling and trying to deal, he decided to drive himself, dammit! He was going to go out there climb into the orange beast, as Bozer sometimes called it, and independently take himself to work, like he had for every other day of his adult life. Every day he told himself the same speech...but would start gasping for air as the walls of the garage started breathing and suck in closer and closer until everything was hazy behind a black cloud of memory and fear. Time to man up. He told himself as he dressed with shaking hands. What had been so automatic before seemed to exhaust him, make his heart pound, made him jumpy. He was tired of being afraid. 

Mac was also afraid that if he didn't do it today, he might never be able to do it again. He wore his blue button down and khaki slacks. While the rest of the team wore casual clothes he always made himself dress professionally. When they were in the field or talking to others, it helped people see past his relative youth. Shaving had been hard, and painful between the remaining faint bruises and shaky hands, but he'd managed to not look horrible. The worst hurdle had been his feet. He tried to put his feet in his boots and almost broke into screams. His running shoes, which had only been marginally better were still muddy and wet from yesterday's run. Mac frowned and had resorted to wearing his Nike sandal slippers. They looked ridiculous. He'd put on black dress socks, but it didn't help. Mac shook his shoulders and cracked his neck.

Before he could think about it more, he unlocked the door and climbed in. The familiar smell of leather made his head spin a minute. He closed his eyes as shakes ran through his body. He again saw the boy laying on the road, heard the whisper of a footstep, the pain...snap, snap, snap. Mac shook his head and wiped sweat out of his eyes. No, he wouldn't go back there. He pulled on his seatbelt and turned on the motor then the air.

He drove with the automatic skills he'd perfected over the course of millions of drives, but they felt odd, alien as if someone were moving his limbs like a puppet. He snapped on the music only to find Kenny Rogers blaring. Mac snorted. At least he knew how his car had gotten home. He took a path to work differently from the one he normally did. Mac figured he was doing well if he managed to get there. He would confront the site of his kidnapping later, maybe when Jack or Bozer was with him.

As much as he growled at them and pushed away from their help, he knew he would still be lost, or worse if it wasn't for them. He shook himself back to the present as he pulled up to the Phoenix parking lot. The once familiar glass building loomed over him, blue and gleaming like a tidal wave. Mac forced himself to breathe a normal rate. There was nothing here to hurt him. Just once Mac wished he could believe the lies he told himself. He got out of his Jeep and stared at the building.

The idea of facing everyone, of everyone knowing he had been broken...Mac blinked away tears telling himself to stop being a drama queen. He squared his shoulders and strode to the front doors as if it was just another day...his dry mouth, sweaty palms and jackhammering heart were constant reminders that were not the case. The security officers looked at him in surprise then broke out in grins. Mac grinned back. The word spread quickly and it seemed like everyone in the building came out of their offices to greet him. Mac felt a weight lift as he was greeted with hugs and pats on the back. Only a few made fun of his feet which Mac took with a good-natured shrug.

It was exhausting. By the time he reached the War room door he felt like he had run a full triathlon. Instead of a finish line, however, he was faced with a scowling Jack Dalton. Riley and Bozer were more of a mixture of happiness and relief. Jack, was not happy. He held it in. Mac sighed knowing he would be getting an earful later. Matty stepped out of the door and studied Mac head to toe. Their eyes met and Mac could see her testing him somehow. She nodded and smiled nodding back into the war room. Mac smiled back. He nodded at the last of the well- wishers and walked towards the war room.

"Welcome back!" Riley said giving him a hug. Mac smiled. Bozer didn't say anything, just gave Mac a hug and couldn't stop grinning. Jack hung back until it was only him and Mac. His stomach cartwheeling, Mac braced himself. Jack looked him over noting every subtle sign of distress only he knew to look for. By the expression on his face, he did not find enough to encourage him.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" He asked. Mac looked down and ran a hand through his hair, before meeting Jack's gaze. He let the mask of wellness drop, showing Jack exactly how much this was freaking him out.

"No." He admitted. Jack shook his head and puffed in frustration. He wagged a finger at Mac.

"You only stay as long as you can handle it, I'm driving you home, and you are not, I repeat are not leaving this building to do anything that even hints of a smell of fieldwork, got it?" Mac actually laughed. Jack growled. Mac forced himself to be serious.

"Got it." He said. Jack glared at him another minute before turning and leading the way into the war room, Mac could hear him muttering under his breath something about 'stuborn stupid geniuses' and 'bald.' Sitting on the couch and pulling out a paper clip as Matty began going over the info so far, was the moment Mac knew he was back.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

 **And cut...Thank you all for reading. I never really planned to write or planned how this story would go, I literally was led by your questions and reviews. Thank you for helping me shape this into something cool. Especially thank you to my regular readers and commentators, if this story is any good at all it's all because of you! Thank you to all who favorited/ followed me and/or any of my stories.**

 **I do have another story in the works called The Ten Merry Widows, it won't be nearly as intense as this one, but probably will be at least as warped as all my others. I also need your help. As I alluded to in this story I am considering a story where Murdoc and Sarana (my bat-shit crazy villain from Valhalla) get together and take on the team. What would you like to see? I am seeking out any suggestions for H/C, characters, plot bits…? Anything. I can't promise I will use them all, but I will definitely use them. THANK YOU!**


End file.
